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TTC #2
Posted by Wheelymate (457 days ago)
my little one will turn one in less than a month.
we are starting to try for #2 but i am worried because of my period - i've been having it for every month since baby was 6 weeks but the start of the period is different every month. hence, i can't quite track when i am ovulating and make whoopee:) at the right time. the last few months, we've been going with the flow and let nature take its course but so far nothing, and my period never quite arrives on the dates when i expect it to.
anyone with similar experiences - will buying those ovulation kits help or is that unnecessary stress?
(I am based in Singapore)
Posted by Dora the Explorer (457 days ago)
Wheelymate, I had the same issue. My periods did not return for over a year because of breastfeeding. When they did return, they could vary by upto 4 days month to month. I found ovulation kits great, but possibly because I am a control freak (so much for romance eh!). I have had 100% track record with them, conceiving first time each time. Although m/c was my issue, OPKs could not control that. Some people find them stressful though. Maybe if you try one month and see how they work for you?
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by squiggles (457 days ago)
Hi Wheelymate,
We had been trying for number two for about 9 months - the first is now just under 15 months. for the first six we just messed about and didn't take it too seriously, but as each month went by you could tell that we were getting more and more miffed by it since the first one was conceived within two weeks of me coming off the pill. I also found that my periods were slightly irregular in that they varied from 28 days to 33 days every month, which really didn't help the ovulation prediction...
so three months ago we started using these ovulation predictor sticks, and funny enough, i did find that my ovulating days were not the days i had originally thought they were....we found these kits really useful, so much so, that i've tested positive this month!
Good luck - i do think OPKs are defo worth a try!
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by Wheelymate (457 days ago)
Hi dora and squiggles (congrats!!!),
thanks for your posts!
think i'll give the OPKs a go. squiggles, we conceived at the first try for #1 so i guess i was expecting it to be just as simple the 2nd round!
(I am based in Singapore)
Posted by MayC (457 days ago)
Hi Wheelymate,
We're in the same boat again and this time it's for TTC, not milk drinking ;-)
I've been trying for a few months also. The first few months were funny, I was on antibiotics and had to stop trying, then I miscalculated my ovulation and then tried the every other day method. I wasted so much time.
I then decided to quicken the process by using OPKs. Didn't work for 2 cycles (so I'm still trying) but will continue using them.
Anyway, just dropping in to say hello and to wish you luck. Hopefully we'll both conceive soon!!!
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by squiggles (457 days ago)
hi wheelymate,
had to smile just now - yes, we were so expecting No2 to be so easy, and it's a bit of a shock when it isan't!! not as young as we used to be!
good luck!
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by Wheelymate (430 days ago)
hmmm...another month, another period....
maybe time to invest in some of those OPKs!!
MayC, hope you'll be successful soon! Milk drinking is still a problem with my little monkey but he's just turned one and eats pretty well so seriously trying not to sweat it anymore.
(I am based in Singapore)
Posted by hkchoichoi (430 days ago)
Hi WM -
we're trying for #3 now too - but were unsuccessful last month. I was really disappointed as I was CONVINCED I was pregnant. Sigh. I only have one more shot before hubby starts traveling for the next three months and so then timing will be REALLY impossible. I've always been very accurate about timing my ovulation, so I am hoping that I can do it well this month. I've never used OPK's - but I'm thinking for security's sake I might...i just don't have any idea where to get them in Seoul...
(I am based in Unspecified)
Posted by Wheelymate (430 days ago)
hkcc,
i was seriously disappointed when i got my period this morning!!
think we have to get our hands on some OPKs and make our men work harder at this, LOL!!
(I am based in Singapore)
Posted by hkchoichoi (430 days ago)
I was really disappointed last week...but I should have known.
my grandmother has made some special "virility" brew for my husband, so that he is not so tired. Ginseng, red dates and ginger all boiled together to get his things flowing...HAHHA.
(I am based in Unspecified)
Posted by Wheelymate (430 days ago)
hahahahaha....maybe i should brew that for hubby if nothing happens soon!
(I am based in Singapore)
Posted by hkchoichoi (430 days ago)
I'll let you know if it works. heheh...
(I am based in Unspecified)
Posted by simplythebest (429 days ago)
wm, i would say you need to first try to regulate your period and second know your body signs eg. when you see cm/eggwhite. now how to regulate your period, i would have to say TCM is of help. There's actually lots you can do. I don't have time to list it all here. Past threads here have the info. Take evening primrose oil. This is speaking from someone who looked up everything on the net, tried everything possible, ttc for a few years. good luck!
http://www.pregnancyloss.info/sperm_meets_egg_plan.htm
(I am based in Guangzhou)
Posted by Wheelymate (429 days ago)
stb,
thanks,i hope it will happen naturally soon as we didn't have issues with #1 but will definitely try what you suggest when the natural way fails!
the regulating of period is the issue here i think - the year i got pregnant, my period was like clockwork. but since baby, i don't know what's happened. like this month, it's come a few days earlier again. and while i used to have pre-period symptoms like cramps and what not....i don't really have them anymore, not even sore boobs!
(I am based in Singapore)
Posted by simplythebest (429 days ago)
well even if your period is not regular do you know when you O? do you see the CM? once you do and see anything, i would get busy with hubby for the week. after awhile you spend so much on those OPK things...:)
(I am based in Guangzhou)
Posted by simplythebest (429 days ago)
well even if your period is not regular do you know when you O? do you see the CM? once you do and see anything, i would get busy with hubby for the week. after awhile you spend so much on those OPK things...:)
don't get disappointed so quick, i mean really a couple of months at it is really nothing...some go through it for years! relax! being very important.
(I am based in Guangzhou)

Posted by MayC (429 days ago)
Hi all and welcome HKCC to our "trying to conceive" group.
HKCC, I remember you saying that you weren't sure if you would go for #3 because of your dad's advice on c-section but congrats on your decision to go for no #3. Children do bring so much joy to us! I hope we all get the news we want to hear quickly.
My period is due in 2 days time. I hope it stays away. This is our third cycle of using OPKs.
simplythebest, you are right when you say OPKs cost a LOT after a while. It's okay at the beginning but then it adds up. After I finish my last pack, I think I'm going to do without them. That's because my cycle is very regular and I think I know when I ovulate. I usually get out my OPK when I see the CM (it's always on day 14/15 post menstruation) and bingo there's a line on it. So I figure that I could probably predict my ovulation without the OPKs.
Ginseng, red dates and ginger sound appealing and maybe I should give that a go if we fail again this month.
Hubs was only around on the day I saw a line on my OPK and then 48 hours after so I'm not sure if we've missed it. But...... I'm still a little bit hopeful.
Will keep you girls updated ;-)
(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by mother_2005 (428 days ago)
HKCC, friend of mine actually travel with her husband when she was ovulating just so that she didn't miss the chance. easy to do that if you have $$$. anyway, her baby was 'made in beijing'. maybe you can consider that too.
(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by squiggles (428 days ago)
OPKs are expensive, but if any of you are like me and rubbish at taking BBT, and still not know exactly when you ovulate in the cycle, then they are pretty much the only way to accurately predict ovulaion. My periods used to vary by up to 4 days month by month so it really was guesswork, and the whole BD thing with the hubby was becoming so not fun when we really were just guesssing! Even when we got the blue line, it was starting to become regimented which we were both beginning to hate, so at least the OPKs took the guesswork out every month!
MayC, the OPKs say that once the blue line appears, you will ovulate between 24-36 after, and since sperm can live up to several days inside, they advise you to try the day the blue line appears or within 24 hrs. So fingers crossed it might have worked for you!
The other thing I took (besides prenatal vitamins etc) which may or may not have helped, was Robitussin, which is supposed to help the quality of your CM. It's cheap, easily available, and you take it for about 5 days before ovulation and during every month.
And lastly, the other thing I stopped doing was running miles and miles. When we first started I was running 40-50k per week, which was probably a little excessive and not helping my body weight stay up, so I cut it down to about 20k per week - no idea if it contributed either...but overexercise is a negative factor I believe too.
(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by simplythebest (428 days ago)
MayC, what is said about OPKs was exactly what happened to me. OPKs are cheaper in China by the way if any of you are ever in the area. Chinese brand but works just the same.
In a way with the OPKs, they say it may give you the signal a little too late eg if you wait to do BD in the evening. Best is the days before leading to O , on O day and day after O for BD (baby dance).
baby dust to those ttc!
(I am based in Guangzhou)

Posted by hkchoichoi (428 days ago)
nice to have a group of women who are going through the same thing. Maybe if we all think good thoughts we all get pregnant easily.
I was very hesitant about getting pregnant again because of c-section and stuff - but yes, I am trying again. One key factor is that we are relocating back to the US in the next few months, and I can have a birth more to my liking under my father's care if I wish. (I hate the regimented style in Seoul - ARGH) I was willing to even go through it here, but the thought of being able to have one where I was more able to determine certain factors (like VBAC which isn't done here) made me more willing.
by the way MayC, the ginseng brew is NOT for you - it's for husband. (virility tea.) My grandmother's also key advice is "don't do it when your husband is tired." She keeps saying that I conceived girls both times because my husband was too tired when we tried. some crazy wives' tale, but considering that I'd like to stop after #3, and am hoping for a son, I'll do it.
Hopefully I can time it right in the next week - I think is when I'm up to bat. I haven't had problems conceiving and timing before - but maybe I'm losing my touch...sigh.
(I am based in Unspecified)


Posted by MayC (428 days ago)
I'm also hoping for a boy this time because I already have a girl at home. Let's keep our fingers crossed, HKCC.
simplythebest, I like the word "BD", so I'll use this instead of doing the "deed" ;-)
Well I heard that if you want a boy, you're supposed to do the BD on the day of ovulation or after. If you do it before, the male sperms will get weak around the time of ovulation leaving only female sperms to implant the egg. I don't know how true this is but I've been so desperate to get pregnant that I didn't follow this rule.
I may end up going back to Sydney for the delivery too. I heard that this year's going to be a busy year in the maternity ward of HK because it's the golden pig year. Just have to work out whether we can afford to fly the whole family back there or not ;-) If not, do you know if VBAC is a common practice here? I heard from some it is, but some others say it isn't?
My mum tells me that the reason why my sis and I have girls is because it runs in the family. Mum has 3, my sister has 2 and I have 1.
Also simplythebest, what Chinese brands of OPKs are you referring to? Can we get them in HK or do we have to go to China for them? I have about 10 left so I'm hoping I won't need to buy anymore. Mine only cost HK$900 for a pack of 10 - I bought them from my local GP, they are much cheaper than what you would get in Mannings.
I wonder why it's so much more difficult to fall pregnant with the second. I know with most of my friends and sister, the first is very quick. Then comes the second and most try between 6 months to a year.
Well if this month I'm not successful, then I'll do what you've suggested, HKCC. Worth a try with the old wive's tale and ginseng for hubby. Why not? It does sound yummy. I know red dates and dried longans are really nice. My husband's aunty made it for me after I gave birth.
Good luck HKCC for next week and to every one of us who's trying. Today no signs of my period. But it's not due till tomorrow. It's late when I'm anxious so now I have to pretend not to be anxious or hopeful.
(I am based in Hong Kong)


Posted by hkchoichoi (428 days ago)
the timing of ovulation - you're referring to Shettles method.
there are a couple more things that you can do to "help" get a boy. Near ovulation, you eat barley, brown rice and green tea. try and avoid red meat. THis is supposed to help change your body pH and make it more "inviting" to your husband's sperm. Naturally a woman's body is acidic, and sperm basic, so they basically get an acid shock - this is supposedly why having your husband "finish" after you have had your own orgasm is better, since you are more lubricated and also more basic. supposedly RIGHT after you have your orgasm if your husband comes is most ideal.
also - supposedly having your husband drink coffe - strong, black 30 minutes before is good -as well as "from behind" position.
dont' get me started though. I DID all that and STILL have two girls...(not that I would trade them in a heartbeat.)
as for your period - if you're REALLY curious - you could try...because if you are, it should already show up positive...
(I am based in Unspecified)

Posted by MayC (428 days ago)
I might as well bite the bullet and test, huh? We'll see if curiosity gets the better of me tonight. I might get down to the pharmacy to buy myself a pregnancy test ;-)
OPKS may work for you HKCC if you have one more try before hubby goes off.
In regards to positions, I've heard that the traditional position where hubby's on top and wife's at the bottom is best for conception? Then they've said to raise your pelvis with a pillow for 30 minutes. It's meant to keep the sperm swimming closer to the egg. Old wives tale again but worth a try as well!
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by simplythebest (428 days ago)
I don't think the Chinese brand of OPK is avail in HK. I'm referring to ones you get at Watsons on the Mainland. Watsons on the Mainland and in HK stock different things.
hehe I've been on enough fertility sites that I know all the abbreviations. Baby dance is a good one.
oh hkchoichoi, will you still visit asiaxpat even if you're in the States? hate to think that we would be losing your help!
Have hubby with a good intake of selenium (brazil nuts) is good too.
(I am based in Guangzhou)
Posted by lovechild (428 days ago)
i agree with you simplythebest would hate to lose the regular input from HKCC,so hopefully the time diff.or having another baby(BOY!!!!!!!fingers crossed),would still keep you part of the circle.
i am fairly new to this but have really gained a lot from reading from ALL you ladies.
i am also in the TTC#1 group,but no luck yet.every cycle i seem to learn something new that i should/nt do.Just praying to God my patience does nt run out.Sooooooooooo want to have a baby!!
Good luck to all for #1#2 or #3!!!!!!!!fingers and toes crossed .
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by hkchoichoi (428 days ago)
don't worry.
asiaxpat moms and dads and pregnancy boards are two that I'd like to be a part of - even across the ocean (although the time difference may cause weird postings at odd hours.) I'm sad about leaving asia, but gotta follow the husband...
(I am based in Unspecified)
Posted by MayC (427 days ago)
Ah, looks like I'm going to have to start learning how to brew ginseng for hubby and eating all the right foods for a boy.
I saw a tinge of pink this morning. Period's about to start, I think....... :-(
It's so discouraging that it's taking so long to fall pregnant this time around. Hubs working schedule (this year) isn't helping either because he has to stay in China for days on end.
On a more positive note, it's excellent news to hear that you'll still continue to be part of asiaxpat, HKCC. We've all valued your input.
So good luck to us all....
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by MayC (427 days ago)
Wheelymate, I forgot to answer you statement:
"MayC, hope you'll be successful soon! Milk drinking is still a problem with my little monkey but he's just turned one and eats pretty well so seriously trying not to sweat it anymore"
My girl is 2.5 years old and her milk drinking did improve a little bit (in that it takes her a shorter time to finish her bottle) but she's still ONLY taking 120ml at a time and never more. But I just let it be now :-)
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by hkchoichoi (427 days ago)
ahhh the tinge of pink.
I had that too - and you know what - I convinced myself that it was "implantation spotting" and the strange thing was, after I get a tinge of pink, within 12 hours I get my period. But I didn't get my period for another 36 hours. And so I kept hoping against hope that it was implantation spotting - of course only to be disappointed. I never had implantation with the other two - why would I now?
my husband is so busy at work and clients and after work parties (very common in Korean culture - they drive me NUTS) that he came home at 5:00 AM this morning and I said, "you're killing all your sperm. I don't know HOW you intend on getting me pregnant next week." HAHAH. I guess it will have to be all the ginseng brew. Just bought red dates and my grandmother is having a fit outside - better go make it.
(I am based in Unspecified)
Posted by MayC (427 days ago)
Haha, that reminds me of what I said to hubby 2 weeks ago. I told him there are times when sex is a pleasure and when sex means business. And I said the time I'm ovulating, I have no time for us to be in the mood. I just need his sperms... I'm definitely turning into a wife from hell!! Hee hee.
Yup, I understand completely about the tinge of pink and implantation bleeding and all that...been there and done that... last month also. This time, I'm smarter. Once bitten, twice shy. So I know not to expect much. Like you, I didn't have implantation with my first so this time, I'm taking the "pink" as bad news.
Oh, next month has got to be it!!! I've been at it for too long now...
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by espresso (424 days ago)
hi all
i fall into TTC #1 group and boy is that hard enough. (i note that a number of you are trying for 2nd, 3rd etc.)
i experienced implantation bleeding about 3 months ago which the period ended up coming about 5 days later. i was crushed, as i thought i really had it. after discussing it with my husband, he suggested that it could have been a way for my system to reject unhealthy sperm / egg naturally. for me i have just resolved to having odd things happen unexplained.
We finally decided to seek help this month and will try IUI. I am a bit discouraged at the whole TTC process by now but are still having some hopes of IUI eventhough i shouldnt. That way I am just setting myself up for disappointment again if it does not happen. I have read other threads where other people have experienced having various unsuccessful cycles of IUI.
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by spicegal (424 days ago)
I think I'm having (or going to have) similar issues with ttc no 2. Pre baby no. 1 I was regular as clockwork, 26 day cycle - since I've been anything between 23 and 31 days so can't work ovulation out. Plus, no longer seem to produce ewcm mid cycle so can't work it out.
We're not ttc yet, but I'd like to soon - and as I'd like to give it my best shot (or hubby's ha ha!!) to have a boy, it seems much more important that I know when I'm ovulating than if I wasn't bothered (I don't really mind either way, but you know what I mean!). So anyway, I'm trying to work out my cycles for pre TTC right now!!
Think I'm going to have to go and buy some of those Chinese OPK's - anyone any other advice for TTC a boy, and for working out when ovulation is?
(I am based in Guangzhou)
Posted by simplythebest (424 days ago)
hi spicegal, i'll answer you here!
acupuncture really will regulate your period. also evening primrose oil. and take that Robitusson (sp?) cough syprup that will improve and thicken CM and hopefully then you'll see it every month..you are producing it you just can't see it :-)
(I am based in Guangzhou)
Posted by spicegal (424 days ago)
STB -thanks for the info - just googled and there's loads of info about taking Robitusson out there - worth a try - guess I'll be off to Watsons to try and sort out my cycle soon!
And accupuncture? How long do you have to do it for? Apparently it's v big in the UK for fertility issues right now.
(I am based in Guangzhou)
Posted by Wheelymate (424 days ago)
can i ask how come robitusson is good for TTC?? isn't it a cough syrup???!!
(I am based in Singapore)
Posted by simplythebest (424 days ago)
hard to say how long for the acupuncture depends on your body and maybe how balanced and unbalanced you are! you'll have to give it a few months with once to twice a week treatments.
robitusson is a cough syrup. not sure, something in it to help with the CM. you're to take it during O time.
(I am based in Guangzhou)
Posted by spicegal (424 days ago)
I just found this page which answers lots of those Robitusson Q's quite well
http://www.pinelandpress.com/faq/cm.html
It says that it thins and loosens mucus - just usually in the lungs - guess that makes sense!
(I am based in Guangzhou)
Posted by hkchoichoi (423 days ago)
anyone doing the Baby Dance yet?
husband has a crazy schedule - so am hoping that I can get my eggs to fly sooner than later...HA.
(I am based in Unspecified)
Posted by Wheelymate (422 days ago)
haha
my hubby has been overworked too recently, no time for babydance!
my period just ended about a week ago so i doubt this is a the right time yet. but i must this week!!!
(I am based in Singapore)
Posted by Wheelymate (415 days ago)
i borrowed a maybe baby kit from my friend - it's like a mini microscope that you put some of your saliva on. the pattern of your saliva will tell you if you are ovulating....
hahaha, the patterns look so weird i'm can't really tell if i am ovulating or not, but i guess no harm in trying!
(I am based in Singapore)
Posted by hkchoichoi (415 days ago)
well -
normally I'm so on track with my ovulation -but this month I'm all out of whack and couldn't see any eggwhites in my CM this month -so I've just been doing our BD sporadically - and I have no idea of the outcome!
(I am based in Unspecified)
Posted by MayC (414 days ago)
Good luck, HKCC!! I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you. Sometimes it happens when you least expect it - when everything goes haywire :-)
If my timing is correct, I should ovulate at the end of the week. 31st of March/1st of April. Hubby has to go to China for a few days next week and I'm just wondering if it's safe (as in it won't decrease our babymaking chances) for him to go, say on the 3rd of April (night time)? I'm expecting that we'll be doing the BD until the 3rd. Hope that's enough because he'll be going for a week after that.
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by Wheelymate (414 days ago)
haha,
my maybe baby thing is confusing...i think i am not using it properly.
i should be ovulating sometime this weekend too but to keep it save, we have been BD every other day - i read that it's better to BD every other day instead of everyday as there will be more sperm or something....hubby was very insulted when i suggested that, LOL!!!
(I am based in Singapore)
Posted by hkchoichoi (414 days ago)
it's true
BD every other day gives hubby's little guys a chance to recharge....
(I am based in Unspecified)

Posted by Kmom (414 days ago)
I'm in the same boat! Have been TTC since October last year. Can get really frustrating at times. With Baby # 1, we were TTC for a year before it finally happened. My periods at that time were very regular but hubby and I were travelling too much because of our jobs. After i gave birth, my regular periods returned until hubby and I decided we wanted to try for the 2nd one! As if my periods were really mocking us. So annoying. So, since October, my periods were really irregular so I cannot plan out fertile days very accurately. Example, no period in February at all. Last period was March 6 and we have been doing the BD starting from the 13th day after LMP --- every other day as prescribed! Yesterday was day 23 of my cycle and I started feeling breast tenderness and cramping in the abdomen... which is usually a signal of an impending menstruation. So, we did the BD regularly and I again think im getting my period. How frustrating! I keep hoping still that the breast tenderness and cramping is something else than my period!
(I am based in Guangzhou)

Posted by MayC (414 days ago)
Kmom, I heard that anxiety plays a part in "stuffing up" our regular cycles. It happened when I was trying for no #1. I would have 6 days of no period, got hopeful only to be met by a heavy flow of period the very next day. Prior to my TTC days, I was VERY regular.
This time I'm pretending NOT to be nervous and so far I'm managed to fool my system ;-)I just BD every other day (when hubby is not travelling for work)and then just hope for the best. I know when I ovulate (this weekend) so I have to make sure I DO IT every other day but then afterwards, I try to keep myself busy. Like re-arranging furniture in my toddler's room ;-)
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by Kmom (414 days ago)
MayC, that's exactly what my hubby and mother says, just stop thinking about it and let nature take its course! Sometimes, it is easier said than done though. But i will heed your advise and see what happens! Good luck to you as well!
(I am based in Guangzhou)
Posted by hkchoichoi (410 days ago)
sigh...
took my tests 3 days in a row. First day, I actually missed the window of seeing the test due to kids and came back and there was a faint line - but it was way after an hour. SO I couldn't trust the results.
Took another one yesterday - negative - and in the FAINT FAINT hope that I was timing too early, another one today - and NOTHING...
and now hubby gone - no more chances for BD in a LONG LONG WHILE.
Hope others are luckier than I.
(I am based in Unspecified)
Posted by Wheelymate (410 days ago)
awwwww hkcc!
where has hubby gone for work - any chance of joining him for a sexy weekend trip (not sure about your babysitting arrangements though).
(I am based in Singapore)
Posted by hkchoichoi (410 days ago)
hubby is everywhere!
we may have a chance this weekend - but it seems unlikely -
then one more chance during the 17th - but otherwise, I'm not going to try to get pregnant until the end of the summer.
(I am based in Unspecified)
Posted by MayC (410 days ago)
HKCC, oh dear..... I know the feeling. It's disappointing when you're so hopeful and so sure, and the next minute, it's all in vain. Thumbs up,though... we'll get there eventually. I just hope we all don't have to wait soooo long.
This morning my OPK had a positive reading so I know I'm about to ovulate but I won't see hubby until tomorrow (in the morning) and then that's it until Friday night (I would have ovulated by then). So fingers crossed, my "one time" tomorrow will do it for me.
Our hubbies are never around when we need them, huh? ;-)
(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by MayC (408 days ago)
Hi, here's a plan I found to be quite useful for all of us:-
Source: http://www.pregnancyloss.info/sperm_meets_egg_plan.htm
Title: Sperm meets Egg.
Deanna's Plan:-
On day 8 of your cycle, counting from the first day you bled, begin "trying" every other night. Begin taking Ovulation Predictor Kits (or continue with your Ovulation computer) on Day 10. Buy two five-packs so as not to scrimp on taking them and stop too early. To make sure your OPK is working well, take your test in the afternoon or after work and do not drink any liquids or go to the bathroom for at least four hours prior to testing. (Morning is not a good time for OPKs, which look for the LH surge, which usually happens during the day.) Read your OPK instructions carefully, as usually a faint line does not indicate a positive, you need a line that is darker than the test line. LH is produced throughout your cycle and will only predict ovulation when it has a big surge.
When your OPK turns positive, begin trying every night for three consecutive nights, skip the fourth night, and then once more. Then stop! The waiting begins.
Take a home pregnancy test 15 or 16 days after your OPK was positive if your period has not begun. Do not buy internet pregnancy tests or tests that claim to work before your period is expected. They are not well manufactured and are not reliable. They will only cause you more anxiety than you already feel in wanting to know. Please resist the urge to do a blood test at your doctor's office just to find out sooner unless you have a medical reason to know early. Fertilized eggs that do not grow are actually a terrible but normal occurrence as much as 75% of the time, and seeing a very low put positive blood test in the first 14 days can place you on a terrible emotional roller coaster. By the time a home pregnancy test is positive, your baby has safely implanted and your odds of miscarriage are down to a normal 10%.
Should your OPK never become positive, keep the every other day trying going until day 35. I recommend at that point taking a home pregnancy test, but even if it is negative, you might want to take a quantitative hCG blood test at your doctor's office. Remember that not every women will ovulate every month. I personally did not ovulate for two months following my first miscarriage.
As you are trying, make sure to "release" the sperm in your partner at least once during the gap between ovulation and new cycle Day 8 so that no more than 10 days elapse without new sperm production. Sperm is also a cause of genetic damage, not just eggs, so keep it fresh! If you are not successful the first month, it is not because your sperm did not get to your egg. 75% of eggs are lost within the first 14 days due to normal genetic damage or failure to fertilize. Just keep trying!
Here are a few facts that may surprise you:
- Many books tell you that sperm can last for 5 days and the egg for 24 hours. While this is technically true on the very long end (and something to follow if you trying to NOT get pregnant), most sperm will only last about two hours if you do not have fertile-quality cervical mucus for it to swim in. The sperm will struggle to swim up to your uterus, use all its reserves, and not make it. The egg typically lives only about 12 hours, so it cannot wait for long. You can now see how important that cervical mucus is! You will never get pregnant with sperm living two hours and an egg only twelve. This information is really just to make you feel better if you've been trying a long time and all your infertility testing came back normal.
If the Deanna-plan does not work and you are faithful to it for three months, take a dose of plain Robitussin cough syrup (or any cough medicine that says "expectorant" and NOT "antihistamine") each day (preferably a few hours prior to "trying") starting around Day 10 until the day after your ovulation predictor goes off. It should help make all the mucus in your body runnier, including that produced by your cervix. (Oh the gruesome details required in baby-making!) The sperm in the runnier mucus will live about two days, and will be up there and ready for the 12-hour life of the egg.
A NOTE ABOUT CLOMID: Clomid causes cervical mucus to dry up in 25% of the women who take it. If you notice your mucus is not plentiful as it was before taking this drug, take the Robitussin and call your doctor to make sure your really need the Clomid. If you are ovulating on your own and do not have a documented luteal phase defect, you most likely do not need it.
- "Trying" too often can actually do more harm than good. Do not try every night! You will get exhausted and sore, and your mucus--both for fertility and for lubrication--will dry up, and you will stop trying too early in the month or miss an important day. Every other day is absolutely sufficient, with three nights in a row during peak time sealing the deal.
- Don't worry about stress! Regular old worries about getting pregnant, and if you will ever have children, are perfectly normal and do NOT affect your fertility. Ignore those people who tell you just to relax and stop thinking about it. This is not their problem! The only thing that could actually affect you is serious stress, like moving to a new house, losing your job, family deaths, and other things that make you physically ill or depressed. This can delay your ovulation, or make you not ovulate in a cycle, since you will produce an excess amount of the stress byproduct called prolactin. It will not affect you for long, and the next month you should come back and be normal again.
- An early period is not an indication of an early miscarriage, even if you know you timed your trying perfectly. Usually it means that the egg was not fertilizable, and so progesterone was not adequately produced. This shortens your cycle. Sometimes eggs simply don't develop properly during the ovulation process. It is usually a one-month problem. If you are regularly seeing that fewer than 10 days are passing between ovulation and your period, however, it's time to be tested for a luteal phase defect. You can read more about that under hormone causes of miscarriage.
(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by espresso (408 days ago)
hi all - just took my 1st hcg test and it was a BFN (after my first IUI). a little bit disappointed eventhough i have already "prepped" myself this morning. will most likely try IUI again for another 2 cycles. does anyone know if after that it is time to get on to IVF? would be grateful if someone can share their insights.
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by 788 (408 days ago)
Espresso, I am sorry to hear your -ve result. I moved from IUI to IVF when the Dr. made it clear that success through IUI would be pretty low (lower than normal %). A number of people across these threads have tried IUI several times and seem to have been fairly successful. I suppose depends on your/partner's situation and Dr.'s recommendation.
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by Wheelymate (402 days ago)
boo hkcc & mayc,
i got my period today.....so i wasn't too far off with the dates but still didn't happen....sigh....
(I am based in Singapore)
Posted by hkchoichoi (402 days ago)
sorry to hear WM - better luck next month? AT least hubby is around to do some major baby dancing...
I discovered I AM pregnant - no period and just tested too early...I feel like it's too early to celebrate just yet, but I guess I'm happy - more ovewhelmed is like it! We didn't have much chances for baby dance (just once.)
(I am based in Unspecified)
Posted by Wheelymate (402 days ago)
CONGRATS!! fabulous news!
once is all you need!!! :)
rest well and hope all goes well!
(I am based in Singapore)
Posted by MayC (402 days ago)
HKCC, congratulations!!! And with only one time baby dance. That's really excellent!!!
I'm expecting my period on the 17th. Fingers crossed, I hope this month is IT for me....
Wheelymate, sorry to hear that your period came :-( It better stay away next month for you ;-)
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by Kmom (402 days ago)
Hi MayC,
We are TTC # 2 for 6 months now. I was 7 days late in my cycle this month, but my period came Easter Sunday. So have to try again! I will follow Deana's plan and see what happens!
(I am based in Guangzhou)
Posted by hkchoichoi (402 days ago)
it will happen for you sooner than later all of you.
don't worry. Enjoy the time you're not - suddenly I'm SOOO tired, so exhausted and I just want to nap! With two kids - little chance of THAT happening.
(I am based in Unspecified)
Posted by simplythebest (401 days ago)
OMG, hkchoichoi, you're pregnant! congratulations! boy, you fall pregnant so easily! hope all goes well with your move and having bub in America...
(I am based in Guangzhou)
Posted by Wheelymate (401 days ago)
mayc, hope you get lucky this month! yes, definitely will try again for next month.
hkcc, you are very lucky although i think the road ahead will be pretty tiring for you once no. 3 arrives so do get lots of rest now when you can!!
(I am based in Singapore)
Posted by MayC (401 days ago)
Kmom, good luck with the next cycle!! Let's all try Deana's plan, not to forget HKCC's suggestions earlier on in the thread as well. It worked for her! ;-)
Somehow I'm not too confident with this cycle either. Perhaps it's because I've had months after months of disappointment. HKCC, what's your secret? What are the signs to tell you what day you have to do the "deed"? Is it enough to baby dance around the time of ovulation? Once I've detected a line, hubby and I would do the baby dance twice, and that's it. It gets too tiring otherwise. Plus he has to rush back to China.
I'll keep you girls updated next week.
HKCC, I can imagine how tiring it can be being pregnant with 2 kids. One's already a handful, let alone two!! But it'll all be worth it. Just a few more years and they'll all be independent and can keep each other company. Let's keep our fingers crossed that we'll have boys this time around!! (when I get pregnant).
(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by hkchoichoi (401 days ago)
My secret? I don't know honestly - we've been very very very lucky. All three pregnancies -within 2 months of trying and generally we time it on one day of the month when I say "GO!" Mine is STRICTLY based on CM = which seems to be a very good indicator for me - but it appears not for others. I've never used OPK's or BBT - I only used BBT when I was trying to figure out how accurate CM was. And it generally coincided so I went with it.
but this month- I didn't even have CM (or I didn't notice) - I was just REALLY REALLY REALLY in the mood and told hubby let's just try without protection. BAM - pregnant. I do think, given my husband's really really exhausting schedule - ginseng power juice helped. Hopefully it will help us get a son! (if we have another daughter, I think hubby will push to try again...and I will practically be FORTY YEARS OLD.) My grandma ALWAYS Says don't do it when husband is tired -better to wake up early in the morning and have a go than late at night. (rest first, BD later.)
(I am based in Unspecified)

Posted by crj (401 days ago)
I'm scared your grandmother tells you when to have sex... I know you are close with your family, and your dad is an OBGYN... but that is too much
:) ha
(I am based in Beijing)
Posted by hkchoichoi (401 days ago)
that's not the half of it.
grandma asks WHEN we had sex (like yesterday) and asks if it was good for me too!
(I am based in Unspecified)
Posted by crj (401 days ago)
Either she is the most super cool liberated granny in history, or just scary :)
I had a great aunt like this, she had no idea how funny she was and had this super dry sense of humour... and would say things to me (before I was married) like "I hope you are having lots of sex now, do it while you can before it is too late!" she was in her 80s.
Loved her to bits, but always had to put the phone on mute as we were hysterical from her comments and she had no clue as to why.
(I am based in Beijing)
Posted by MayC (394 days ago)
I've failed again this month :-( My period came on time yesterday :-( :-(
I really don't know what we're doing wrong.....
I'm very regular - my cycle is always 30 days and we always BD at least twice after we see a positive on the OPK. But I really don't know why it's still not happening for us :-(
HKCC, do you need to put your pelvis up after the "deed"? I keep getting recurrent cystitis so I'm always going to the loo immediately after the "deed". I wonder if I should just risk it and put my pelvis up for 10 minutes and see if that would help with my baby making.
Sooooooo discouraging when I get my period month after month :-(
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by hkchoichoi (394 days ago)
I don' know if you NEED to put your pelvis up after the deed - but all three of my pregnancies - I did do that. just because I suppose it can't hurt. I usually stay that way for 30 minutes and then afterwards get up and do whatever else necessary to clean up. I stick my legs up in the air, and I say to my husband "my legs are tired" he'll usually help me support my legs for a bit. Otherwise he just lies next to me chatting.
I'm wondering of the OPK'S are actually predicting you a bit late. Have you tried tracking exactly how many days after you OPK says you're positive you have a period? I'd be interested to see that number.
(I am based in Unspecified)
Posted by Havefaith (394 days ago)
HKCC,
I have been reading your advice in other threads - you really do give good advice. I just want to say "Thank you". In addition, besides putting up your legs - do you do anything special with your diet? exercise? Wish I could have 3 kids too.
Take care!
Havefaith
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by Wheelymate (394 days ago)
awww mayc, sorry to hear about your news.
i am paranoid about getting UTI (i got it twice long time ago and seriously, it is not fun to be peeing "glass") so i rush off to wash myself after every BD. maybe that could be why it's not working for me yet?
hkcc, you know your granny who said wake up in the morning for BD? i think it's true....we made our #1 one lazy early morning when we were both probably half asleep!
(I am based in Singapore)
Posted by MayC (394 days ago)
From what I know, my OPKs usually go positive 15 days after the first day of my last period. Meaning, my period this month started on the 17th of April so my OPK will usually show a positive 15 days later, on the 2nd of May. My cycles are as regular as clockwork. Meaning in the last few cycles, they have always been on time.
Any input on the above?
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by hkchoichoi (394 days ago)
sorry may - getting the numbers confused.
I want to know WHEN your OPK went postive and then AFTER - how many days later you had your period. So - what day was your OPK positive this month...
you got your period on April 17- so was your OPK positive on April 3?
(I am based in Unspecified)
Posted by hkchoichoi (394 days ago)
I guess I should clarify - my dad said a more accurate way to measure ovulation is to actually COUNT BACKWARDS after your first day of your period. That is generally more accurately your actual ovulation day as most women have luteal periods of 14 days or less.
So I'm trying to figure out if your actual start of your period matches around 14 days, or if you're actually doing it too early or too late.
(I am based in Unspecified)
Posted by hkchoichoi (394 days ago)
Hi Havefaith -
how long have you been trying? I have a girlfriend who has been unsuccessful for 6 years and it's heartwrenching watching her. I exercise daily, and when i was starting to TTC, I learned about my body for 3 months - figured out when I was ovulation and now use it to time my intercourse. My husband is a very very busy and tired man - so getting together on time is often very difficult - but we've been very lucky all three times. So - I will attribute it to God's will, lots of luck - and maybe the ginseng tea that my husband drinks?
(I am based in Unspecified)
Posted by MayC (394 days ago)
I had my period on the 17th of March and then my OPK read positive on the morning of the 2nd of April. And then I got my period on the 17th of April. We did the BD on the 2nd and on the morning of the 3rd, and that was it. Do you think I've missed it?
So with your dad's calculation, the next time I BD should be around the 3rd of May? Or should it be before?
I agree with Havefaith, you have been a great help, HKCC.
Fingers crossed, hope you get your boy this time.
I have a korean friend who also suggested red ginseng for hubby. She got pregnant after one month of trying to. Worth a try. Why not? ;-)
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by hkchoichoi (394 days ago)
interesting -
your OPK is reading positive 15 days before your period - which I think it means it is flashing too EARLY. so next time - I think you should time your BD - a day LATER. just one day. Technically you should try counting 16 days - so Thursday May 3. If you want to increase chances - Try May 1 and May 3 and skip May 2. That would be my recommendation. Also - have hubby drink coffee before intercourse and also you take robittussin.
(I am based in Unspecified)
Posted by adelaide (394 days ago)
hkchoichoi Did you take robittusin for all three pregnancies? I had never heard of this until this forum. So helpful.
I thought coffee affect fertility and that you should reduce intake????
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by hkchoichoi (394 days ago)
Never took robittusin for my pregnancies. I think I have really good CM. I can definitely sense a massive difference when I ovulate in my CM - so I think it makes timing for me VERY obvious.
the coffee isn't for you - it's for husband - 30 minutes before - give him a cup. It can often give extra energy and PUSH to the little guys swimming upstream. Red Ginseng is supposed to have the same effect.
(I am based in Unspecified)
Posted by Havefaith (394 days ago)
HKCC,
I have been trying for about 1 year. Last July I got pregnant and then found out it was a blighted ovum. Had a m/c in Sept. We have been trying since that time. Hope you get a boy! Best of luck!
I will get hubby to drink some coffee beforehand - ginseng might be a little bit more difficult. He has really good sperm count - Our Doc told me she has never seen such good sperm count.
MayC, My doc has also asked me to count backwards for the calculation - as HKCC pointed out. Fingers crossed for you.
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by MayC (394 days ago)
I see... that could mean that we BD'ed too early last month and when we BD'ed again the second time the morning after, I don't think hubby had time to replenish and then he was gone for days.
I've never really heard of Red Ginseng. I wonder if this is the same as the American Ginseng? May pop into the local Chinese medicine shop near me to find out.
It's great that you're able to tell your ovulation from your CM. I unfortunately cannot tell the difference so the May 1 and May 3 is easiest for me to follow. Please keep your fingers crossed for me.
I am a little worried that it's taken so long but hopefully it'll happen soon.....
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by Wheelymate (394 days ago)
i hate to be stupid but can someone explain how counting backwards work?
havefaith, sorry to hear about your loss. good luck and keep trying!!
(I am based in Singapore)
Posted by Havefaith (394 days ago)
Wheelymate,
Thanks for your kind words - I will keep my fingers crossed for both of us.
This is what my doc told me. For example, if your periods are 30 days apart (on 19 March and 18 April) and your period started today (18 April) - then you count 14 days backwards and your ovulation occured on 4 April - 16 days after the first day of your last period.
HKCC, please let me and Wheelymate know if the above is correct. Thanks.
Havefaith
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by Havefaith (394 days ago)
Sorry to be dumb - is a baby dance, BD and the deed all the same thing?
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by MayC (394 days ago)
Havefaith, I think the same way you do... it also means that if you have your period today, your next ovulation will be 18 April - 14 days = 4 May. So you would be expected to ovulate around the 4th of May.
Havefaith, I'm so sorry to hear your loss too..... but equipped with so much info from HKCC, hopefully it won't be too long for all of us :-)
Now if only I could just get past today.... I get the most severe period cramps..... I don't believe it now when they say cramps stop after you have your first child :-(
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by MayC (394 days ago)
Havefaith - Yup.
BD = Baby Dance, we learnt that off simplythebest, another kind lady who shared her advices earlier on.
The "deed" - I'm sure I got it off somewhere ;-)
(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by hkchoichoi (394 days ago)
The logic behind counting BACKWARDS from your period is that MOST women from their ovulation to their period is a time span of 14 days. There are those who have a time span of less or slightly more, but the majority of women, from ovulation to their period is 14 days. the period BEFORE your ovulation - there is a wide range. For me, my cycle is not that regular - I have anywhere from 28-35 day cycle. But it is NOT my period which is late, but rather my OVULATION which is delayed. From the first day of my last period to my ovulation -sometimes I go even 20 or 21 days before ovulation...but from ovulation to my period it is ALWAYS 14 days. (I know this as I know when I ovulate - I actual get a sharp pain in my side.)
the logic of counting backwards is hard -because it's almost "too late" in the figuring it out - but if you know that your cycle is generally around 30 days, then you should count FORWARD 16 days (30-14) and that will be the day you ovulate. Which is what I did for you MayC.
April 17+18 days - is May 3 - but also try two days before May 1. (which is actually 14 days.) Your OPK is giving you the sign on the 15th day - and it's supposed to anticipate ovulation by a day - but I think it's telling you to go too early. It's worth a shot, no?
Does no one have good CM on ovulation day? It takes practice to find it - you basically have to touch down there and feel every day until you get used to the feeling - and the day it changes, you'll KNOW.
(I am based in Unspecified)

Posted by hkchoichoi (394 days ago)
MayC -
did you have a c-section? My period cramps after my vaginal birth were GONE = I mean GONE...but after my c-section - they have come back with a VENGEANCE. Sometimes I have to roll up in a ball.
(I am based in Unspecified)
Posted by Wheelymate (394 days ago)
hkcc, havefaith and mayc,
thanks for clarifying, very interesting! shall attempt this backward counting method.
ok...this CM thingy...how do you go about?
(I am based in Singapore)
Posted by hkchoichoi (394 days ago)
to quote a song...you'll have to "touch" yourself.
AS I mentioned, my cycle is incredibly irregular - but I always know my ovulation - almost always on my CM, and also a heightened interest in the whole BD. (I AM REALLY in the mood.) Around the time when I think I will be ovulating (or the week of) I take careful notice whenever I pee. After I pee, I check...and check to see if there is any change.
CM - on the day of your ovulation - is - to say most descriptively - like boogers. It's stretchy, pretty clear, but very stringy - some people call the texture similar to eggwhites, and I think of them as being boogery. They don't break easily and the pull apart long - (which would faciliate sperm.)
(I am based in Unspecified)
Posted by hkchoichoi (394 days ago)
OH =
another note...you have BETTER chances of conceiving - if YOU have your orgasm slightly before your husband does.
A woman's nether regions are acidic - a man's sperm is basic. Basically he has to shoot his guys into a hostile environment - CM helps this, as well as an orgasm, because for a moment, a woman's body turns basic.
(I am based in Unspecified)
Posted by 788 (394 days ago)
HKCC, I don't know why I venture on to TTC#2 when I am having such a hard time getting to #1-- but I am glad I do | |