Panicky about birth

Posted by Babeez (129 days ago)

Hi everyone,

I am 38 weeks and getting very anxious about having my C-section on Friday. I will have to be under general anaesthetic due to back problems. I am starting to get panic attacks at night. Has anyone else done the same? I wanted an epidural but the doc reckoned it was too risky with my back in such a bad shape. Does anyone know how long it takes till the drowsiness of the anaesthesia wears off and how long did you have to wait till you could see the baby? i have my op at 3pm...any chance of seeing the baby the same day?

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by axptguy38 (129 days ago)

Please note that I'm no expert so the following is speculation.

Uou're not having open heart surgery. C-sections are very brief as operations go so I would think your general anesthesia will be rather "light". I will make an uninformed guess that you will see your baby in early evening.

As for panic attacks, I think anyone can be anxious before an operation, not to mention the birth of their child. Thankfully, serious complications during childbirth are exceedingly rare in modern countries. I know you know that there's nothing to worry about but my works won't make it better. My only suggestion is to get a good friend or family member to keep you company and to try and fill your days so you'll be busy and not brooding.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by purefit (129 days ago)

axptguy you must be a wonderful husband with all the great advice you give. I wonder if you're a full-time advisor or something with all the ready replies to help everyone.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by PDNS (129 days ago)

I had my baby at 11.45am and by 2pm, I was able to see my baby. I go for g/a too on my choice. yes, you can't avoid to have certain anxiousness but once you are in the hospital and thinking that I will see my baby when i wake up, other things does not matter anymore!!!!!

Enjoy every minute of your pregnancy, you will miss it for a few days after delivery - for a while. I was like 'oh, why my baby is not moving in my tummy??".... hehe, fun fun fun, either being pregnant or having baby. 'see' you when you are back from hospital and tell us how great it's having baby!

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by cara (129 days ago)

have left you a phone message, will try to call later tonight after work!
thinking about you!

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Mariannehkg (129 days ago)

TO PDNS : just wonder how can you miss pregnancy, i am in my 8th month and i can't take it anylonger !! do you remember what is like the last 3 months ? I heard the women who had children lost the memory of the pregnancy.
I dun think i will lose mine and i am soo readyyyyyyyyyyy to give birth

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by axptguy38 (129 days ago)

"axptguy you must be a wonderful husband with all the great advice you give. I wonder if you're a full-time advisor or something with all the ready replies to help everyone."

Thanks but I'm just a regular guy who listens to his wife and tries to learn about things even if they are not "guy stuff". I probably just have too much time on my hands. And I'm a fast typist. Also my wife and her mother could probably give classes on child care and such. I try to listen hard.


"Enjoy every minute of your pregnancy, you will miss it for a few days after delivery - for a while"

Agreed with Mariannehkg. My wife was in "get it out!" mode the last few weeks. ;) Your results may vary I guess.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Babeez (129 days ago)

Thanks for all the replies everyone. Cara, i got your message, i am feeling slightly better now. Thanks for your kind thoughts! I started getting panic attacks after falling pregnant and had to take meds, doc said it was a hormonal imbalance. It was all under control until a couple of nights ago when i started to think about the surgery, i felt like i couldn't breathe and i haven't been sleeping. After talking to a couple of people who went under general anaesthesia, i feel a bit better. It's just that i am claustraphobic and the thought of being completely out freaks me out. I was also worried about being thirsty after and not being allowed water so i spoke to my doc for some reassurance today and he told me i was allowed a sip or two. Don't know why but that makes me feel a bit better. I don't know why i feel all this when i am so blessed to be pregnant and to hopefully be able to have a healthy little girl.

In regards to missing being pregnant, my friend missed hers but not till a year later...i think it's true, you forget what the waiting is like. I get very worried about our baby when she doesn't move much or i worry about the cord being around her neck. I would much rather have her 'out' than 'in' and it feels like i have been pregnant since 1998, time sure drags in the third trimester! 3 sleeps to go and trying to focus on all the positives!

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by PDNS (129 days ago)

I wanted my baby out at the last month asap too as the tummy was so so heavy, taking a step forward was like dragging a 100lbs of whatever on my both legs! However, I really miss it when the baby was out as i was really enjoying his every movement! To the the truth, i really love being pregnant, I feel so energitic and vibrant all the time except the last month but i have this nesting symptom that I washed and dusted every bit that I can think of in the house and there was not time to think of anything else as I was so exicited to have the baby in just a short while.

enjoy it and have fun the last 3 days!

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by purefit (129 days ago)

PDNS did you suffer sickness at all or any other adverse symptoms? Did you work work during pregnancy or immediately after?

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by PDNS (129 days ago)

Hi Purefit,

No, I do not have any sickness at all except the first two months I cannot eat a full meal, the most is 2-3 spoonful and I felt so bloated and full of gas. I work all the time but not over work and doing light exercise like taking walk in the evening. I was really enjoying every minute of it. On my 4th months till 8 months, I woke up at 3am feeling so hungry and always enjoying having a slice of cake and a hot chocolate drink or milk for pregnant woman. I don't drink vitasoy chocolate flavor but I love it then, strange! The last month I cut down carbo but stay on fruits and veggies and reasonable amout of protien.

During my 6 months, I cleaned up those big wondows of my apartment which my husband can't say a word at all, he was just so amaze at how energitic I was. I cooked dinner, marketing on weekend ( no maid till now, I resigned to take care of my son full time), ironing, going out on weekend with friends..... etc, just like I was not pregnant at all. BTW, I had someone to iron my husband's working clothes as it was too much for me to iron his - he wants it nice and smooth.

Prior to having my this baby, I had two miscarriage in a year and I had sligthly morning sickness and I hate it. So if u are not having any, dont look for it but enjoy every minute of your pregnancy!

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by purefit (129 days ago)

I feel bloated too and I am six wks but back hurts sometimes. I wish I had your energy, I feel tired in the evening s and want to go off to sleep. I also feel cramps like I'm about to get my period and I keep getting panicky as not used to it but slowly getting used to the cramps.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by PDNS (128 days ago)

cramps, hurt or pain in your uterus or womb... yes, normal, it is making room to accommodate your growing little one! How exciting ya. You will be able to see him or her swimming in your womb when you go for your next check up and hearing heart beats too. you will shed tears or just laugh out loud... hehe, who mind u? My doc. told me" look at the beautiful of life inside you!"

Again, enjoy and listen to your body!

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by axptguy38 (128 days ago)

Your reactions to a sonogram may vary. Feeling not much is normal too. Don't worry if you're completely indifferent. This doesn't mean you'll be a bad mother.

My wife "faked a sonogram" pretty much all the time, smiling happily even though she didn't feel much of anything. Our unborn babies never had a strong emotional impact. A bit thrilling that we were going to have a baby, but the early sonograms just show this tadpole anyway.

When they were born, though, that was something else.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Babeez (128 days ago)

At my first check-up, our doc told us our baby was the size of a grain of rice. It did amaze me that another life could grow inside me but it wasn't until our 20 week scan that i was a bit teary, seeing arms and legs and what actually looked like a real baby :)

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Wheelymate (128 days ago)

i'm terrible at sussing out what's what during ultrasounds, i just nod my head so that my doc doesn't think i'm an idiot. my husband is quite good and identifying parts of the baby though!

it's fascinating esp. when we had the detailed 22 week scan and the baby's face looked so real BUT nothing beats the first time you feel your baby kick in my belly.

babeez - can't advise on c-section as #1 was natural via induction but feelings of anxiety and excitement about the impending birth are all very natural i think! i am due on tuesday and been getting lots of text messages from friends asking if i've popped yet. best of luck on friday.

(I am based in Singapore)

Posted by Babeez (128 days ago)

Thanks Wheelymate and good luck with yours too. I too get the same phone calls asking if i have popped yet (mostly from my mum who tells me its impossible to carry so low and that she is coming....wishful thinking!). Totally agree with you on the ultrasound part-i also just keep saying alot of clueless 'uh-huhs' unless it is something obvious like the head, arms or legs. Baby has been so quiet today, was getting worried but is kickboxing now as i sit in front of the computer (thank God). Lucozade works a treat for waking her, feel a bit bad for giving her fizzy drinks but feel 100 times worse when there is no movement, especially so when you are so near your due date. I am going to miss the kicking, a BIG part of me wants her out here in my arms but i can't help but feel a tad sad that we won't be doing everything together anymore. But then last week i ate about 50 pineapples to try to induce my own labour (obviously didn't work) then at my doc's appointment he said drinking Guinness works, as a huge smile beamed across my face he said '...and no, that doesn't mean you are going to drink any, you will be good and wait for you scheduled op date'. I was so tempted and stared at a can of Guinness in Taste for about an hour but then thinking of drinking alcohol while she was still inside wasn't a possibility for me and plus, if she wants to stay in, then she must be happy.

And to Cara, thanks for your telephone messages. I got your message today and am feeling much better. I googled 'C-sections and General Anaesthesia and read quite a few positive stories. I have nightmares of coming out of anaesthesia in the middle of the night in the hospital and all the lights are off and i don't know where i am but my baby's gone but my husband keeps reassuring me that whatever the time, he will be there when i wake up. I will update you when i get home (hopefully) with a healthy baby and we will meet up when i'm fully back on my feet again. You have helped me heaps. Thanks!

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by axptguy38 (128 days ago)

"i'm terrible at sussing out what's what during ultrasounds, i just nod my head so that my doc doesn't think i'm an idiot. my husband is quite good and identifying parts of the baby though!"

If your doctor is making you feel like an idiot maybe it's time to get another doctor. ;) They know you're not a pro. Just ask. There are no stupid questions. Seriously, why are people afraid of looking like idiots in front of their doctors? My wife and I have been known to take notepads with a dozen or so questions to our appointments, both ob-gyn and pediatrician. A good doctor will patiently answer.


"I am going to miss the kicking, a BIG part of me wants her out here in my arms but i can't help but feel a tad sad that we won't be doing everything together anymore."

Well, you're not exactly going to be far from each other for quite a while after birth. ;) And think of not waking up in the middle of the night from being kicked in the bladder. Then again, that will just be replaced by another kind of waking up in the middle of the night. Don't worry. Babies are much nicer on the outside.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by purefit (127 days ago)

Babeeza how come you're 38 wks pregnant? Isn't that 9.5 months pregnant? I thought the maximum was 9 months? Is that the reason you're very panicky?

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by RachRobin (127 days ago)

Purefit - all pregnancies are calculated from the day of your last period, not from the day of suspected conception.
This system is often confusing, but used because most women don't necessarliy know when they ovualted or conceived (and everyone's cycle is a bit different).
So all pregnancies are technically calculated as 40 weeks to cover this.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by axptguy38 (127 days ago)

"Babeeza how come you're 38 wks pregnant? Isn't that 9.5 months pregnant? I thought the maximum was 9 months? Is that the reason you're very panicky?"

40 weeks is a normal pregnancy. Your typical month is longer than 4 weeks.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by cara (127 days ago)

keep in mind that the first two weeks of pregnancy you are not actually pregnant.
as mentioned before, pregnancy is counted from the last menstrual cycle. NOT when you took a pregnancy test.

eg. you have your last period on Jan 1. you usually ovulate around 2 weeks after that. you miss your period on Jan 28(assuming you have a 28 day cycle). you are now considered 4 weeks pregnant. (even though you actually had sex around jan 14 or so)

purefit: i know that you are newly pregnant. i would STRONGLY suggest you buy yourself a couple of books and do some research as to what is happening to your body & baby.

good luck!

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Babeez (127 days ago)

I decided to have the C-section at 38+2 weeks as i wanted to give the baby more time inside but a few of the people i know planned to have theirs at 37 weeks when the baby is considered medically mature. Last week, i was kicking myself for not having said i wanted it sooner but now i am glad that she has had that extra little bit of time inside. Can't believe that 24 hours from now, i will be having my C-section! Alot less panicky today, think i am getting too caught up in getting everything ready to stress. BTW...does anyone know how long after General Anaesthesia is food and drink disallowed and how long it took to wake up after going under? Cara, how long did it take you to get up and walk?

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by axptguy38 (127 days ago)

"The Pregnancy Book" and "The Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy" come to mind.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by cara (127 days ago)

with my first one, the recovery was much slower. it was almost a month before i could comfortably walk even a short distance. I developed a nasty infection though, so I think that was the reason that it took me so long.

with my second, i was able to walk about 5 days afterward. this was something special as i'd been in a wheelchair for 4 months before delivery.

as for food & drink. they do disallow it. i BEGGED for water and convinced them that they should soak a cloth and let me suck it, which they did. it took about 4 hours before they allowed me anything to drink. in all honesty though, you float in and out of consciousness and the hours fly by.

i thought that i was lucid after they woke me up and wheeled me into recovery. when they wheeled me out, i couldn't believe how fast it was... then i saw a clock and realised that i'd been in recover for almost 2 hours! i thought i was awake the whole time. they will tell you vital information right after they wake you up. they will then periodically ask you for the information after that, just to ensure that you are becoming "with it".

i don't think i ate anything until the next day, i wasn't hungry though, so that wasn't a problem.

i didn't see my daughter until the next day, almost 24 hours after her birth. at QMH you need to be able to make your own way up to NICU, that's where my baby was kept overnight. I needed to be wheeled, there was NO WAY i could have walked it. so, i had to wait for hubby to come during visiting hours to take me up. she was allowed to come down that afternoon and i had her by my side for most of the time afterward.

you will find that even the next day, you will have a very hard time keeping your eyes open. that's normal. also, do NOT worry about immediately breastfeeding. my daughter had some formula at the hospital as i just could not do it. once i had recovered from the GA, i started to bf her and she was exclusively bf for the first 6 months.

good luck!
i'll be thinking about you!

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by axptguy38 (127 days ago)

"i had to wait for hubby to come during visiting hours to take me up. she was allowed to come down that afternoon and i had her by my side for most of the time afterward."

Why did your husband have to wait for visiting hours?

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by cara (127 days ago)

at public hospitals, hubby is NOT allowed into the delivery if it is a c-section under GA.

They also do not allow hubbies in the general ward except during visiting hours. it sounds kind of harsh, but it is actually NO visitors. visiting hours are 12-1 and 6-8. i found it not bad because some people get 3 or 4(only supposed to have 2) visitors and it can get quite noisy. with the limit, it means that you can actually get some much needed rest.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Babeez (127 days ago)

Thanks Cara, actually better than i thought. I thought i had to wait till the next day for a sip of water. As i am going private, hubby can stay with me till 10, hopefully i will get a glimpse of the baby the day she arrives. Still, as long as she is healthy, i am happy. Thanks for all your support over the past few weeks! :)

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by axptguy38 (127 days ago)

"They also do not allow hubbies in the general ward except during visiting hours. it sounds kind of harsh, but it is actually NO visitors. visiting hours are 12-1 and 6-8. i found it not bad because some people get 3 or 4(only supposed to have 2) visitors and it can get quite noisy. with the limit, it means that you can actually get some much needed rest."

"As i am going private, hubby can stay with me till 10,"

That's awful. How very 1963... :((

I can understand visiting hours and agree that it can get rowdy with all the people. So I'm all for enforcing visiting hours.

However at your typical US hospital fathers are exempt. Heck I slept on a cot next to my wife's bed... I could come and go as I pleased but mostly I stuck around. If nothing else, I got much needed takeout to replace the horrid hospital meals. I could help my wife with all sorts of other stuff and we could just be in our bubble if you will.

On another note. Equality goes both ways. We're never going to see progress if fathers are taught that there are some things they shouldn't meddle in. Note that I am a guy! Now if a couple chooses to not have the husband there, that's one thing. But to be forced? The father is half of the typical parenting team in our supposedly enlightened times. Why should he not be allowed to be around? ARGH! Makes me mad and glad we had our kids before coming to HK. :(



Of course, my wife spent most of the hospital stay following our second doing email (wireless network in the maternity ward is a great thing). #2 came as a surprise 4 weeks early and my wife hadn't really made all the arrangements for maternity at work yet. ;)

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by cara (127 days ago)

i agree... i would have loved to have hubby there...my hubby... but with the numbers of women on the ward, it would get VERY crowded. even if there was only one person for each mother.

after having a baby under GA (considered MAJOR surgery), i can tell you that you are SO tired afterward, that i can remember hubby coming the day after and my having to try to converse with him while my eyes were closed. don't know how much conversation we really had. i just could NOT keep my eyes open.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by purefit (127 days ago)

Don't panic Babeez. Relax and count your blessings that you're delivering in HK, one of the best cities to deliver with all the maid help etc and private care. Count yourself really lucky - wish I had your luck:) And all the best for the delivery! I'll be thinking of you. You'll be fine:)

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by axptguy38 (127 days ago)

"i agree... i would have loved to have hubby there...my hubby... but with the numbers of women on the ward, it would get VERY crowded. even if there was only one person for each mother."

What, not private rooms? The barbarism continues... :(

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by cara (127 days ago)

the delivery suites are private. the wards are not... unless you want to pay the same as you would at matilda.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by axptguy38 (127 days ago)

"the delivery suites are private. the wards are not... unless you want to pay the same as you would at matilda."

And to think people complain about health care in the US... The hospitals there run ads for their maternity suites. "Flat screen TV, wireless Internet, free classes...."

All paid for by your friendly insurance company.

Sorry. I'm a bit riled up about this. It seems a bit primitive.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by cara (127 days ago)

if you have insurance, then you should definitely go private and to matilda. i hear it's more like a 5* hotel than a hospital.

if you don't have insurance and don't want to pay $100k for the birth of your child, there is absolutely nothing wrong with the public system. the care is definitely no frills, but the medical care is second-to-none. if there are complications at matilda, they send you to Queen Mary.

as with most public hospitals, the staff are over-worked and underpaid. but i honestly have very few complaints. and i should know, i was in there 13 times over 2 very complicated pregnancies.

if hubby and i opt for #3... i'll be getting insurance to cover private care. simply because i think that with the number of hospitalisations i had, i would definitely get my money's worth.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Babeez (127 days ago)

I decided to go low-end private at the Baptist Hospital with the most general and cheapest possible ward. If i wanted the baby to room in with me, i would have to pay over 100K and all the meds and doctors visits are multiplied by i thnk 4 or 5. I have been told that i am allowed to hold and feed the baby every 3-4 hours but hubby is not allowed to be with me...what is that all about? I am going to fight over that one. Why shouldn't my husband be allowed to hold his newborn daughter? Apart from me being able to feed her, everyone else can see her through a window for 3 minutes a day, 3 times a day. You have set timeslots. I was silly, i should have got all that info beforehand, it just never crossed my mind that in a private hospital, holding your own baby would be such a struggle! Then again, i am going low-end private and i was born there so that means something to me. Oh well, as long as she is healthy, that is all i want and care for! :) We saved up hard for this because i had previously been to Princess Margaret hopital and had a terrible time there. I was admitted another time to the Prince of Wales Hospital later and was so happy with their service, as with Pamela Youde hospital. I am hoping we can go public with number 2, i hope they will consider C-section seeing my first one was C-section. Will look into that when we are all settled as we are hoping to have our babies pretty close together. For now, i will see how this one goes! :)

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by cara (126 days ago)

hey babeez....get some sleep girl... this is the last time for about 6 months that you have the opportunity to sleep through the night!
enjoy it!

thinking of you!

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Babeez (126 days ago)

Thanks for all the kind words and thoughts to everyone who has written on this post. I am leaving for the hospital in an hour and wish you all well while i am away! Wheelymate, have a safe and healthy birth! Cara, will talk to you when i get back, axpt38guy, thanks for all the advice, PDNS, thanks for your advice and info too and Purefit, hope you have a wonderful time being pregnant, if you are not having too many side-effects, the first two trimesters were the best for me, enjoy them and don't worry. Let's all have a positive day! :)

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by axptguy38 (126 days ago)

"hey babeez....get some sleep girl... this is the last time for about 6 months that you have the opportunity to sleep through the night!"

Maybe. Both our daughters slept through the night from 4-6 weeks.

Your results may vary. You should certainly plan on not sleeping. Then again, I can't recall my wife sleeping through the night in the last month of pregnancy. It's hard when you need to pee all the time.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by PDNS (126 days ago)

You are safe when you are delivering today! Wish you all the best and realize u stay in Tung Chung. maybe i will see u someday holding ur bundle of joy walking at citygate, pacific cafe or sitting at the fountain!

Cheers!

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Babeez (118 days ago)

Just wanted to say thanks to everyone who replied to my post in my last week of pregnancy, i was a wreck! I am now at home with a beautiful new baby daughter who weighed in at 8 pounds 6 oz. She is such a joy (even when she wailed from midnight to 5am this morning). I feel so blessed and can spend all day just staring at her, amazed that my hubby and i created a little human being. I am recovering well from my C-section, my doc cut so low i was amazed it was even physically possible to deliver the baby so far down! Won't be able to see the scar unless i wear a G-string... Loving every second of being a new mother. Thanks again, all!

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by axptguy38 (118 days ago)

Congratulations!

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by cara (118 days ago)

Awesome! So glad to hear that you and baby are recovering so well! babies are amazing little creatures, aren't they?

you'll find that you can't possibly believe that the next stage is as good as this one, then it happens and you are equally enamoured of your babe!

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by axptguy38 (118 days ago)

Agreed with Cara. My older daughter is 2 years old and the novelty still hasn't worn off. To quote Peter F. Hamilton, one of my favorite authors, when he dedicated a book to his newborn daughter.

"We never knew how much we missed you until you arrived."

So very true.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Wheelymate (117 days ago)

congrats babeez, enjoy your baby! it will be a rollercoaster ride with lots of highs and some lows (sleepless nights, illnesses, etc) but you wouldn't want to trade it for the world!

(I am based in Singapore)

Posted by !@#$%^&*() (116 days ago)

congrats, babeez. i am very much looking forward to meeting my baby in April. :)

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by PDNS (116 days ago)

congrats to, babeez n ur hubby! whatever, enjoy her but dont forget about hubby :)

(I am based in Hong Kong)