Baby won't....

Posted by !@#$%^&*() (222 days ago)

What to do? my little one won't let me put him on the bed (his or ours) whether he's sleeping or awake. He's 3 weeks old and it is not easy carying him the whole day through...

(I am based in Hong Kong)

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Posted by axptguy38 (222 days ago)

You mean he cries? I have many memories of lying on a sofa with a sleeping girl on one arm and a book in the opposite hand. At this age it can be very hard. It will get better though.

Also, you can put him down and stand by the crib and stroke hum until he falls asleep. He may whine and cry but you keep going. You're the boss. Still, at 3 weeks you need to cut the poor guy some slack. Sorry.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by !@#$%^&*() (222 days ago)

i know that...i guess i just get frustrated at times...especially doing two things at once (eg expressing milk and holding him at the same time)...we do understand that he needs the feeling of being close to the both of us...

thanks...

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Kim11 (222 days ago)

Is he wrapped? Try wrapping him tightly, giving him a cuddle then putting him down but leaving a hand on his head and on his body. Then do the patting as mentioned above. Try patting for a fewminutes while making a shshsh noise and see how long he will actually cry for. The other thing you can do is angle his mattress a bit so he is not lying completely flat, use pillows or a bookunder the mattress. This helps with gassy bubbles in the their tummy. In the past I have also put a tshirt I had worn to bed under baby in the crib which they say helps, don't know if it did but worth a try.

Try not to stress, he will pick up on that but try not to pick him up the minute he makes a noise, he might take a few seconds to settle.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by axptguy38 (222 days ago)

!@#$%^&*(), I'm sorry I can't help more. It's just one of those things that makes you feel as if you're going to collapse into a puddle. This too shall pass!

As Kim11 says swaddling may help. Some kids hate it though, including our #1.

Also agreed about inclining the mattress. A 10-15 degree angle works wonders. Head up of course. ;)

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by crj (221 days ago)

This sounds more about you being over tired over stressed and just plain exhausted from giving birth, than about the baby. Which means YOU ARE NORMAL!

Try to get a break, see if your helper, husband, friend, relative can carry take some of the responsibility while you get some extra rest. Be sure to put your feet up and close your eyes when the baby naps - even if you aren't tired.

Look at the things you are doing and see what you don't need to do right now - do you need to express? Can you just feed directly now and express in a few weeks once you have more energy? Can you skip household tasks? Can you get people to help you a bit more these initial weeks? Are you eating and drinking enough?

After 6 weeks, things get a lot better.... the first six are the hardest for sleep, crying, feeding, etc...

Hang in there, get midwife help if you think there are problems, and try to let other people help you more.

I barely remember the first six weeks with my son (my first child), because it was so sleep deprived and challenging. With my daughter, I was much more relaxed, and I think she could sense it, so it was a bit better (but still sleep deprived!).

In the meantime, we loved swaddling and relaxing warm evening baths before bed...

You could also opt to get a sling or an ergo baby carrier, which makes it easier to carry the baby and have your hands free at the same time. Then later, you can use it as just a means to transport the baby around.

Good luck, hang in there, and just count down to that 6 week period where things start to get a bit better...

(I am based in Beijing)

Posted by ldsllvn (221 days ago)

yes, try swaddling - ours two loved it. he is still tiny - I do remember having my dinners with a baby in one arm and husband cutting my food for me. It will pass... However if in a few weeks it does not get batter -start and shooshing and patting method (Tracy Hogg, "The Baby wisperer") - helped us a lot.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by !@#$%^&*() (221 days ago)

thanks all for your suggestions and advices. i will try them and hopefully it gets better...:)

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Wheelymate (220 days ago)

it will get easier if not most parents won't survive to see their kids' first birthdays... :)
for awake times, try the bouncy chair - this will allow him to get a better view of the world, see you
for sleeping time, swaddling worked for us. i will probably win an olympic gold medal for swaddling if it became a sport.
things are crazy at the stage you are right now but rest assured it will get better. hang in there and rest when you can~

(I am based in Singapore)

Posted by omaharrison (220 days ago)

Try also putting your shirt close to him. Babies get the smell of thier mother and know that smell to mean security and safety. If you take the shirt you are wearing, which means will have your scent and put it close to him he might relax smelling it. It's kinda cheating LOL but might do the trick. We still do it when ours falls asleep in our arms and wakes up the second we put him in his bed, and he is 3 months.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Matilda (220 days ago)

Newborns frequently need body contact and parental intervention to settle. Studies show that babies who are soothed when they cry usually become better at comforting themselves.

Try wearing him in a baby sling during the day.With time and maturity you will be able to put him in his cot awake but drowsy.

Ensure baby is growing adequately and feeding well by seeing your baby doctor or nurse.

Matilda International Hospital
Well Baby Clinic 2849 1500
Hong Kong
http://www.matilda.org

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by axptguy38 (220 days ago)

"i will probably win an olympic gold medal for swaddling if it became a sport."

Haha. Actually one of my proudest parenting moments was when #2 was 1 day old. I had just swaddled her. The nurse came in, looked at the child, then looked at me and said "Did you do swaddle her"? I answered "yes". She said "nice job" and looked suitably impreseed. :D

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by !@#$%^&*() (220 days ago)

hi all...i have tried swaddling..it works for a while then it's back to baby crying again wanting to be held...he did like being laid down on a 10-15 degree angle...:)

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by smsm (220 days ago)

does ur cot have a cot mobile...mine loved just lying down and looking at her cotmobile going round and round..get her a colourful and decent size one ( some of them have such small size animals that it doesnt excite the child at all)..i think it should work..

(I am based in Hong Kong)