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kids say the darndest things
Posted by cara (78 days ago)
about a year ago we had a thread like this going and it was wonderful to read...most of our children are a little bit older now and most likely a little bit wiser....just wondering what your child has said recently that has made you smile???
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by cara (78 days ago)
i'll start...
about 6 months ago, we bought a car. this is our first car in HK... i'm not exactly a patient driver and one day i honked at someone in front of me.
my then, 2.5 year old piped up from the backseat...."come on guys... BEEP! BEEP! FASTER!!!!!!!"
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by cara (75 days ago)
i can't believe that no one's kids have said anything funny lately!?!?!?!?
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by joshmomm (75 days ago)
Okay, here are some...
I love asking my 3-yo questions just to see what answers he would come up with. He hasn't disappointed me with the creativity of his answers.
Lately, he loves playing the "when xxx grows up, what will it become?" game.
We were in the car when he announced that "when the taxis and cars grow up, they become buses!"
"When Daddy grows up, he becomes an old Daddy!" ;p
"When seeds grow up, they become plants; when plants grow up, they become trees; when trees grow up, they become buildings!"
---------
My son was playing with some ice cubes when he had an "aha" moment: "Mommy, we just put chocolate on the ice and we will have chocolate ice cream!"
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by cara (75 days ago)
ha! i love it!
my three year old is given mac & cheese with veg (usually peas) mixed in. just to give it a little bit of goodness.... well my son HATES the peas... i have to get him to close his eyes and open his mouth in order to eat them.
well, a few weeks ago, he said to me in a hushed conspiratorial voice, "shhh! don't tell mummy about the peas!"
i asked him what he meant. his reply, "yaya(our helper) said don't tell mummy about the peas. no need to eat!"
our helper turned beet red and has been apologising ever since!
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by axptguy38 (75 days ago)
"i can't believe that no one's kids have said anything funny lately!?!?!?!?"
My stuff is mostly in Swedish so I doubt this board would be much enriched by it. ;)
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by MayC (74 days ago)
I took my 3.5 year old daughter to a public toilet last Saturday and after helping her on the loo, I had to "go" myself. She exclaimed loudly, "Wow, mummy, your panties are really nice. You have a princess' pink panties". I almost died of embarrassment.
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by MayC (74 days ago)
Last week, I bought a Cinderella book for my little girl. I told her that Cinderella's real mummy died so her dad married a wicked mummy who didn't like Cinderella. At the end of the story, she burst out crying. She said she didn't want mummy to die. I replied, "Well, mummy's young and I'm not going to die. I'll die when I'm very old - when you see me with white hair". She cried even more. So I said, "Okay, mummy isn't gonna die because I have to look after you".
Then last Sunday, she saw an old man with white hair and she said out loud, "Mummy, is he gonna die?" I had to tell her not to say such things.
I've learnt my leson. I better read the stories word for word rather than adding my own by saying, "Cinderella's real mummy died". What was I thinking?
Kids are sooo innocent... and soooo adorable.
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by axptguy38 (74 days ago)
Mine aren't that much fun.
- After #2 was born #1 learned what crying babies meant. She would look at me very seriously and say "Baby Hungry!" while nodding solemnly.
- We were at Ocean Park and #1 was just over 2. She knew what being a rascal was by then. So there we were at the sealion exhibit. Two handlers came out to check the health of one sealion. They gave it fish and inspected the fins. Another sealion surreptitiously approached from where they couldn't see it. It nudged a handler and asked for fish. My daughter immediately exclaimed "RASCAL!"
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by cara (74 days ago)
great! keep 'em coming!
i can use the laughs!
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by Sue (74 days ago)
My daughter (2.5 yrs) pointed at a picture of me and her in the hospital just after I'd given birth and said "look theres mummy and a baby" and I said "thats you, just after you came out of my tummy". She looked at me a bit oddly and said "your tummy?" and I said "yes, you were in my tummy". Appalled and very accusingly she asked "you ATE me??"
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by axptguy38 (74 days ago)
That's hilarious Sue! You almost made me spit tea all over my monitor!
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by isonoawabi (74 days ago)
Travelling on a bus …
LO: Mummy, are you nineteen years old?
Me: Nope, much older.
LO: Are you 25?
Me: Well … yes, I was, a long time ago… Wait a minute, you shouldn’t ask a lady about her age.
LO: Why?
Me: Age is a lady’s biggest secret. I wouldn’t want anyone on this bus to know how old I am.
LO: Tell me, please. I promise I won’t tell anyone. You can whisper, Mummy. I promise I’ll keep it secret.
Me: OK (whisper) I’m forty.
LO: (a moment’s silence, then in a loud voice). Mummy, why did you tell a lie?! You are 40 years old but just now I asked you if you were 25, you said yes!
Me: You broke your promise! Why did you shout? Now everyone on this bus knows my age!
LO: OK, I’ll tell them you are not 40. (In an even louder voice) Mummy, you are 19 years old, aren’t you?
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by Amanda Le (74 days ago)
My little boy being 2.5 at the time said out loud in a crowded fitting room
"men have googies. women have boobies. But I don't know about..." pointing at someone in the opposite change both.
I could have died then and there!
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by joshmomm (67 days ago)
We were at the dentist the other day and my 3yo just had prophylaxis. While waiting for me to finish paying, he spotted small packs of soy milk in the clnic's mini-fridge. He said he wanted one.
Me: But the dentist just brushed your teeth.
J: It's okay, Mommy. The soy milk is white anyway.
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by cara (67 days ago)
oh! those are funny!
more, more, more!
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by isonoawabi (67 days ago)
Child: Is it true that bad people go to hell when they die?
Mum: That's what the Church teaches.
Child: Does he stay there forever or can he come back to this world?
Mum: The Bible says he will stay there forever. That means he cannot come back to this world.
Child: Is there enough food for him there to eat forever?
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by isonoawabi (67 days ago)
Overheard two kids talking.
Kid 1: My dad is in the fashion business.
Kid 2: That's cool! He can make nice clothes for you then!
Kid1: No, he can't. He doesn't know how to make clothes. His job is to go to factories and tell the people there that they don't know how to make clothes.
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by bprmum (67 days ago)
Kids I teach...
Child:I love cuddling you Miss.
Me:Thanks
Child:Yeah, my mummy is all hard and bony, but you are like a pillow and full of wobbly bits!
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by cara (67 days ago)
i taught a set of 4 yr old twin girls about 8 years ago...
when i arrived at the lesson and took my shoes off, my big toe poked a hole through my sock. the girls were standing there talking to me and when it happened, i said, "oh, look at that, i've got a hole in my sock!"
one of the girls waited a beat and then said, "that's ok, miss cara, my dad has sooooooooo many holes in his underwear!"
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by cara (67 days ago)
i had some students ask me once if snowmen fell from the sky like that?(already made)
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by cara (67 days ago)
and just tonight driving home, we passed a couple of police motorcycles and a van on Island Eastern corridor and my son piped up from the back seat....
"uh oh, i think that there is a little problem!"
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by isonoawabi (64 days ago)
I asked son what he thought if his mum had another baby. He said it was a great idea since he would then have a baby brother or baby sister to play with. I asked him whether he preferred a baby bro or sis. He said, show me their pictures first and I'll choose.
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by cara (64 days ago)
LOL!
great!
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by sarah jane jj (63 days ago)
When in the shower my 3year old boy said" Boys not have boobies,only Mummies and Daddies"(time for Daddy to exercise)Another time after studying Daddies face he said"Your face all broken Daddy"after noticing some wrinkles
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by kazasia (53 days ago)
My son sam (7) met a new friend the the other day who hails from India and is about 9 years old... the boys got chatting about their home countries and about religion...
Sam: Sharma, I believe they have three gods in India ... one that looks like an elephant, a blue one with a beard and one with lots of arms, right?
Sharma: Yes i guess so..(smiling)
Sam: their names are elephant man, papa smurf and johnny six arms isnt it? we have only one called jesus in the manager
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by cara (53 days ago)
awesome!
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by cara (33 days ago)
the other day my son spent some time with MaMa (his paternal grandmother). this is what he told me:
"mama was not angry when i dropped the glass."
"you dropped a glass! did it break?"
"yes, the floor was wet and i slipped and dropped the glass."
"oh! did you get hurt? did you cry?"
"no... i just said...whoa!"
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by maternitynurse (33 days ago)
I am not a mum but I look after newborns and toddlers alike. One little boy called Jamie couldn't pronounce his J's so when I asked him what he wanted for his tea he said loudly 'Dam sandwiches please!"
He has twin sisters too and when he proudly pushed them out in their pram for the first time he stared at a lady pushing her baby in a stroller going in the opposite direction and after a while I asked him what was wrong because he was unusually quiet. He replied with a sad face "that poor lady has only got 1 baby, did she forget the other one at home?"
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by Scot (33 days ago)
I was talking to my husband one night when he returned home from work.
I said "I bumped into Nancy at the supermarket today", (meaning that I'd met Nancy). On overhearing this my 5 year old son said "Oh, did you hurt her. You must be more carefull mummy!"
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by cara (33 days ago)
very funny!
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by Amanda Le (32 days ago)
we were all out for dinner and friends had a pack of ciggies on the table. My 4 y.o son took hold of them and yelled out "who's are these? These are only for adults! You should know the rules!"
My son saw a cute cuddly toy in the shop. He quickly grabbed me to show me it. "Look mummy. Isn't it cute. Awwwww....it's so cute...just like me!"
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by cara (32 days ago)
lol!
we bought some krispy kremes the other day... that night daddy and i finished them off. the next morning, i got a phone call< MUMMY, YOU ATE ALL MY DONUTS!!!!!!!!!!
oops!
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by cara (32 days ago)
today i took my boy with me to town to do errands. one of them was going to the bank. i was supposed to deposit a cheque and then head on to another errand, a bill that HAD to be paid today. got to town to realise that i had NO $ in the wallet, AND hubby had the cheque in HIS wallet....needless to say i was a little put out. i was explaining to hubby what the problem was when little one pipes up, "here mummy, let me!"
he then takes my mobile phone and berates hubby "daddy, now we don't have any money! first we go to one bank (to stand in the queue) and now we go to another bank (ATM) and we still have NO MONEY! i'm thirsty, but mummy can't buy me any juice, because we have NO MONEY!"
needless to say, the people in the queue in front of us were having a great laugh at my expense!
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by axptguy38 (32 days ago)
Lol. Time to start banking on the Internet? I don't go to branches anyway but you've given me one more reason.
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by cara (32 days ago)
thank goodness i still had the bank cards on me and a little $ in the bank!
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by joshmomm (27 days ago)
My 3yo overheard me telling my parents about some of his classmates who were half-Chinese, half-American and he immediately piped in, "I'm half-Hong Kong, half-Island Resort!"
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by cara (26 days ago)
LOL! you gotta wonder where they come up with these!
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by austria (25 days ago)
My younger son, an early speaker who never stopped talking, often substituted other words in his sentences.
"We can put it in the freezer until it is isolated." (Finally, we understood he meant 'frozen' - you can see the logic in that!
"This is Mum's! M-U-M-catastrophe-S!"
But my favorite is the word he substituted for 'illness'."If you don't wash your hands, you'll catch an Elvis."
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by cara (25 days ago)
AWESOME!
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by kazasia (23 days ago)
MY son overheard me expressng my concern (whinging) about the problems my helper was having securing a visa so that she could start work.
I told him she needed to get a visa before she could work for us... he had the perfect solution:
"Don't worry mum, just get her a master card instead!"
arghghg
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by cara (23 days ago)
LOL!
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by flashback (23 days ago)
My kids' memorable comments:
Son 1: What happened to your father?
Me: He died.
Son 1: Who shot him? (too much television?)
Son 1 (at the doctor's surgery... singing) We're going to see the ducky doctor...We're going to see the ducky doctor...
Lady Waiting: Who's the ducky doctor then?
Son 1: Quack,quack, quack... (just as the doctor came out to call us in!!)
After watching Wizard of Oz too many times, we were at the greengrocers.
Cashier (to me): you have such lovely children.
Daughter: Shut up you lop-sided bag of hay! (red faces all around!)
Son 2: (seeing a pregnant woman) Dad, you know some people have other people living inside of them.
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by cara (23 days ago)
my cousin once told someone that his father was "a very impotent man!" after much gaffawing and clarification, we realised that he obviously meant "important"
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by austria (23 days ago)
One day I thought I'd expand my son's pasta experience a little. He eyed his tagliatelle with suspicion.
"Why did you iron the spaghetti?" he demanded.
As if I had the time ....
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by cara (23 days ago)
Oh, god... these are great!
keep 'em coming!
we've moved the kids' beds into our larger bedroom with the coming of the warmer weather, to lower electric consumption.
anyway... this morning at 6am the 15 month old started making noises to get up. after a couple of squeals, mummy, with head under the blankets, pretending to be asleep, hears from the other side of the room, "XXX lie down, it's still sleep time!"
Gosh, i've trained 'im well!
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by isonoawabi (19 days ago)
Our former helper gave birth to a lovely baby boy a couple of months ago. The proud parents sent us photos of the lovely little boy. Son was thrilled because the baby's named after him. He wanted to bring the photos to school for show and tell. We were curious about what he was going to say and asked him. He said, I'll tell everybody this is my helper's baby and he is a living thing.
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by sharefitness (18 days ago)
It's vulgar as it is funny – very meet the fockers, yes my son has unfortunately taken to the S word and practices it occasionally around the house amongst other words, mind you his name starts with S, he says (Dog’s name) SIT, SHOE and now apparently SH**!! He said it to a granny who bumped into his pram the other day, ha!ha! that brought tears to our eyes – yes shame on us, we’re working on SUGAR & WooWoo instead…we'r not making it a big deal but incase you think I should be charged for "poor parenting" what do you suppose I do?
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by Katetam (18 days ago)
This is a GREAT thread!
Me: "Sweetie, you're sleepy, it's time for bed."
Daughter: "No, I am not. I haven't YAWNED yet."
(Last week, I told her "sweetie, look you're yawning, you must be so sleepy."
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by Nashua852 (18 days ago)
Fantastic thread Cara! Giving me lots to look forward to :)
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by cara (18 days ago)
we are very careful to use the word "foo-ey" or "phooey" around our house and occasionally, i can hear my son talking to himself saying... "oh, phooey!" when something doesn't go quite right.
we've also been working on the "please say excuse me if i'm talking to daddy..."
today in the car, my son was talking to me, when my husband made a comment about a passing car to me.
from the back we hear...." daddy, you say, excuse me! i was talking to mummy first!"
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by joshmomm (18 days ago)
LOL --we must be careful what we preach; they learn really fast and preach back at us when we slip. :)
We always ask our son to say "good morning" or "cho-san" or "nei ho" to people we meet. There were a few times when the people that he greeted didn't deign to say hello back. I would then reiterate to him (within earshot of these people!) that it's always nice and polite to say good morning/hello to the people we meet and to return the greeting when greeted.
One lady he greeted the other day didn't greet back. My 3yo waited a few seconds then said to her, "You should say good morning back! It's nice." Luckily, the lady had a sense of humor and promptly said good morning back with a smile. (I was cheering inside!).
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by cara (2 days ago)
got a new one...
today, sick... watching Oprah...my 3 y.o says, "mummy, you should go to sleep. It's my turn to watch tv." i got up and said, "you're right. i'm going to sleep. but YaYa(our helper) is watching Oprah too, she likes Oprah."
about 30 seconds later, i hear as i'm going up the stairs, "yaya, do you like donald, mickey and goofy?"
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by sunniefaith (2 days ago)
I don't have kids but have to share this. Last weekend, my husband and I were at the children's home playing with this cute little girl. She's around 3.
She can't speak much English but can speak Cantonese really well. I was pushing her in her little tikes car. After awhile, she got the hang out of her car. She came up to me and tapped me hand and started sprouting in Cantonese. With my limited Cantonese and her gesturing wildly, I realised that she wanted to get into her car, squeeze to the back of it, she wants to give me a ride! I smile and tried not to laugh but couldn't control anyway. I'm like 1.68 cm and weigh more than 65 kg! And how could I ever squeeze into the car!
But it was a nice thought.
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by axptguy38 (2 days ago)
This weekend we were going to the shops. I got tired of browsing for furniture, so I went ahead and started on the groceries.
Apparently, as my wife and kids came in, my daughter (2˝) saw me wandering around far down the aisles. She yelled: "Gau-cho-ah PAPA!" Needless to say, the cashiers had a good laugh out of that. Special shout-out to our helper for the little Canto phrases my daughter picks up. ;)
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by Nashua852 (1 day ago)
We were at a birthday barbecue recently of twin boys turning 4, I had our baby on my lap with his buggy open next to us when the two boys rushed over to play with bab. One of whom was staring quizzically at LO and then at his buggy.
Twin #1: "But...Where's the OTHER baby?!?!"
Me: "We've only got one!"
Twin #2 (misinterpreting): YOU MEAN YOU LEFT HIM AT HOME??!"
ah, kids.
(I am based in Hong Kong)
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