with new baby & my 2 yrs being naughty

Posted by makulit (338 days ago)

Hi! anyone, please help me how to handle my 2.3 years old boy. I just had a new baby last 6 Dec 2007 since then my 2 yrs old his attitude is changing a lot. He use to be quite & playfull but now he scream and cries most of the day without a reason. He use to eat a lot, anything we give him he likes it but now it's so difficult to feed him most of the time he dont eat, he just depend on the formula. He always try to get our attention as well and when we attend to him he scream then hit us even me his mom.

1 month ago my 2 yrs old boy is very healthy with a good body weight but now he loss a lot of weight, 1 reason is he get sick and second he dont eat heavy meal.

I know my 2 yrs old boy was jealous with his new brother. Btw. I still give attention to him and always pamper but still his still showing bad attitude.

Please do help me as I am getting desperate.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

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Posted by cara (338 days ago)

he used to be the apple of your eye, now you have a new, very demanding baby to take care of.

this is very common. my son, ALWAYS well behaved also gets very jealous of his sister. after almost a year, it is starting to get better....

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by makulit (338 days ago)

thanks Cara. I cannot wait that long. His attitude must be change specially his eating habit as I dont want him to get skinny.

1 more thing everything to him has changed even giving him a bath, changing nappy or clothes etc... he refused, he always scream and it's really a struggle to us.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by axptguy38 (338 days ago)

"He use to be quite & playfull but now he scream and cries most of the day without a reason. "

Lesson number one of parenting: There's always a reason. In this case as Cara says it's most likely jealousy.

I can recommend a couple good books that should give you some pointers:
- "What to expect - The Toddler Years"
- Penelope Leach - "Your Baby and Child...."

- Ensure your older gets some alone time with you every day.
- Do not accept bad behavior but do understand that not being the center of the Universe any more is traumatic.
- Always be inclusive of your older child.
- Be kind and patient.
- Get a big doll that he can take care of like a baby. This worked well for us. As soon as mummy fed/changed/rocked little sister, the doll was also fed/changed/rocked. That way he is included in the "game" instead of on the sidelines.
- Have him help prepare baby bottle, watch while you change diapers, help carry baby supplies ("could you get me a diaper for the little one please?"). Include, include, include.
- Never ever leave the two alone together until the younger is at least 6 months AND until jealousy is mostly over.
- If baby gets mummy's lap, daddy's lap is a good way to make your son not feel neglected.

Good luck!

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by makulit (334 days ago)

axptguy37 thank you for your advice.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by cara (334 days ago)

i have always included my son in helping with his sister. he loves being included. it always helped.

for the eating...tell him you will take it away... then do it! tell him that if he doesn't eat it, he'll get NOTHING until next mealtime. then follow through with it. even 2 year olds can figure it out really quickly when you don't follow through with a threat.

i recently had to do the ..."if you don't eat this, then you get NOTHING until dinner time." after two days, he realised that i meant what i said and ate everything. i also introduced star charts.

you can make one and put whatever you want on it:
has a bath
gets dressed
eats b'fast, lunch, supper
helps mummy with baby
sleeps all night without waking up

our son recently started waking up every night. i think it was all the excitement of christmas. i finally hit on the idea of trying a star chart. i told him that if he stayed in his bed 5 nights in a row, we would go to ocean park and ride the go-karts. i also told him that if he ate all his meals for 5 days that he could get a new "Pooh & Tigger" movie.

magically, he's stayed in his bed for the past 7 nights and eaten EVERY SINGLE MEAL!

he's now to the point that he forgets to ask for the star for his chart.

good luck!

(I am based in Hong Kong)