advise please

Posted by my goddess (450 days ago)

I love my boyfriend.It seems everything is perfect but he told me he is not a "sexual person".He dosen't need sex.He only have sex with me when i ask him or when i get angry with him.He said he love me he want to marry me.I do believed it.I told him I hate to beg for sex.He dosen't want to talk about it because he think I sounds like he can't please me.I've tried to talk to him a few times.He said he'll change but then still the same.I don't know how to talk to him.I feel bad to bring it up again but I really want SEX.
Anything I can do?Anyone?
Thanks

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by tyro (450 days ago)

sounds like he's gay or not that into you...

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by glitter08 (450 days ago)

Have you both talked about it deeply? physcial or emotional problems? Might be he can't open up to tell you why he doesn't feel like having sex as he knows you'd love to have it with him or he'd be afraid if you dumb him becos of it and he don't want to turn you down.... find a time which both of you can relax and talk, think it would help.

well, will you dumb him if he just can't satisfy you??

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by glitter08 (450 days ago)

Have you both talked about it deeply? physcial or emotional problems? Might be he can't open up to tell you why he doesn't feel like having sex as he knows you'd love to have it with him or he'd be afraid if you dump him becos of it and he don't want to turn you down.... find a time which both of you can relax and talk, think it would help.

well, will you dump him if he just can't satisfy you??

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by my goddess (450 days ago)

I am very sure that he is not gay or he is not in to me.He is not a sexual person.I want to talk to him nicely without hurting his feeling.I just don't know how to say it.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by pinolino (450 days ago)

I think the more you push the more he will withdraw from it. Usually a healthy man becomes interested after a while, just natural. So, do not put pressure on for some time and be patient.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by my goddess (450 days ago)

glitter08.I've been thinking that for a while.I don't want to dump him because of this reason.Is so not fair to him.I love him so much.He is such a nice guy and I will never have to worry that he will cheat on me.He don't even interested to look at girls.(He definetly not gay)I really want to talk to him deeply.But i don't know how.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Tiger01 (450 days ago)

perhaps he has low testosterone, just a chemical imbalance, like being a diebetic, and with simple treatment it could all be resolved.

Perhaps he she should see a doctor/therapist, but be careful not to make him feel incompetent or inadequate - you gotta go gentle!

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by glitter08 (450 days ago)

my goddess. I'm happy for you that you're so sure the guy next to you won't cheat on you and respect you in the way he doesn't even look at other gals which I think most of the guys can't stand the temptation and yes, it'd be a pity not to being with him.

i think not go strick to the point asking why he has less interest to have sex, but know more his past, value, how he grew up and the past relationship would give you a hint. Take it easy which you're not going to "dig out" why, instead show him you respect him for not pushing him about this, cool down just a little bit about your needs and he'd find it's easier to talk to you openly.

Best wishes and good luck :)

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by the_poor_man (449 days ago)

There are people who are just not very sexual. It's true.

If sex is an important part of your life, you have two choices:

1) Find sexual satisfaction outside of the relationship.

You could even ask him if he could accept this. Perhaps an "open relationship" might work here.

2) Break up with him and find a different boyfriend.

(I am based in Hong Kong)