Pls give some advice on this LDR....thx

Posted by drifter (671 days ago)

This is my first time to have a LDR. I couldnt imagine how it would like b4 and i m kind of scared.

I met him in his country and we stayed together for 2 days. Of coz we had a great time and i fell in love with him. That's y i decided to try to hv a LDR with him as he also promised he would try his best to keep this relationship by sending me mail, chatting to me, sms and calls.

But now i am back to HK for almost 2 weeks. I dunt always hv the chance to chat with him on msn coz of the time difference (he is in europe). But when we chat, he is still sweet to me.Then I sent him email, sometimes i hv to wait for up to 2 days for his reply, no matter a long or short one. Also, there are no sms and calls from him so far. And he never asked my address in HK.

He said he was busy. But i think it is just an excuse. It doesnt really take much time to send me a sms or give me a call. May be just once or twice a week....

I want to keep this relationship but at the same time i feel frustrated. I have to control my emotion so that i wont go crazy.

I want to tell him how i feel abt all those things, and see if he would do a bit more. However, if i tell him what to do, then it will become meaningless as it is just like an order from me.

Is there any other method to deal with this situation? another way to talk to him? wait longer?
Or i should just break up with him? i think of it too...but i am afraid i cant do it at this moment..

(I am based in Hong Kong)

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Posted by LMOPQ (671 days ago)

Or i should just break up with him? i think of it too...but i am afraid i cant do it at this moment..

Hmmm. This is all about...
Wake up and then back to your position.
Good for you. Frustrated and emotional because you try to imagine something possibly nearly impossible. Let's forget about it. His reaction already shown you what is happening. And your expectation and disappointing already shown you THAT you are not happy. It's time to stop. Good luck!

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Qart (671 days ago)

no need to forget about those two days u spend with him, they were nice and u were happy, but LDR are hard itself and it seems u two didnt have much time together and it makes things harder... dont need to decide anything now... its hard but try not to think about him much, do your things and time will show...
Good luck!

(I am based in Beijing)

Posted by kopfan888 (671 days ago)

agreed with the other two, LDR are tough indeed and takes a lot more time and effort to try and maintain, seems like this guy is drifting apart and yes its time to let him go.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by car_lover (671 days ago)

Agreed with the above. I've done LDR myself, been together for 8 yrs before getting married. Am in Msia and she in HK...definitely something tough, cos u tend to miss that person all the time and wish that u cld be together bt it does test whether u truly love and trust that person at the same time. First, u shldn't ask too much from him for now, he already tries his best, and when he said busy, believe it and dun doubt it..time really flies bt u don't know it...once i even forgot abt her bday and she got pissed and her friend had to call me and remind me...not doing it intentionally tho...it actually depends on u and ur bf, whether both of u wanna make it work or not...technologies nowadays are already good enuf comparing to the past...u got internet, webcam, phone, etc...so there is no excuse that it won't work...it's whether YOU want to make it work or not. My sis married a brit and still happily married with 3 lovely kids in UK now, she met her hubby from a newspaper penpal section..5 yrs apart...and got married(that time no internet yet). A friend, met his wife(frm HK) thru ICQ, has a daughter and still happily married...nothing is impossible, u just have to make it possible. Good Luck!

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by car_lover (671 days ago)

Agreed with the above. I've done LDR myself, been together for 8 yrs before getting married. Am in Msia and she in HK...definitely something tough, cos u tend to miss that person all the time and wish that u cld be together bt it does test whether u truly love and trust that person at the same time. First, u shldn't ask too much from him for now, he already tries his best, and when he said busy, believe it and dun doubt it..time really flies bt u don't know it...once i even forgot abt her bday and she got pissed and her friend had to call me and remind me...not doing it intentionally tho...it actually depends on u and ur bf, whether both of u wanna make it work or not...technologies nowadays are already good enuf comparing to the past...u got internet, webcam, phone, etc...so there is no excuse that it won't work...it's whether YOU want to make it work or not. My sis married a brit and still happily married with 3 lovely kids in UK now, she met her hubby from a newspaper penpal section..5 yrs apart...and got married(that time no internet yet). A friend, met his wife(frm HK) thru ICQ, has a daughter and still happily married...nothing is impossible, u just have to make it possible. Good Luck!

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by kristatu;ip (670 days ago)

Do your own thing and be patient. It's tough but just be patient, girl.

(I am based in Singapore)

Posted by drifter (667 days ago)

thx for all the replies and supports...

i got the sms from him on sat afternoon and i have to wait till tue afternoon to get his 2nd sms...saying " I MISS YOU"...i have no idea of how he spent his weekend and what he was doing...

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by kopfan888 (667 days ago)

ooh sounds like a guilt text to me, he did something naughty and felt guilty hence sending the text.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Pumpkin (667 days ago)

Come over to our LDR thread on the women's channel - lots of good info from a crowd that have been in LDRs for years.

Basically, if you don't think he could be THE ONE, don't bother with an LDR.

But to quickly answer your question then as for the weekends. Get used to them disappearing at weekends. Its very common. Don't spend your time however wondernig what they are upto, get out there and enjoy your weekend as they are doing too.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by car_lover (659 days ago)

Why does it seem that LDR is only for Women and not Men too?

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by chris79 (659 days ago)

Two days is really short...., of course I have no idea what you did in those two days, but a LDR does need a lot of maintenance and you really have to be up to it. Like said above it does require a lot of effort. If you think you are up for it go for it, but if you have the slightest doubt, leave it coz its really not worth the trouble and why let all the other opportunities in your direct environment just lie there for something so unsure as a guy you only knew two days???

(I am based in Beijing)

Posted by rititt (659 days ago)

drifter, you seem to be very young! 2 days with him, is really nothing, maybe not for you but definitly for him. in europe, sex is much more casual than in Asia (but it's changing though), i'm pretty sure this guy, as anyone of his age, is having fun with you (don't take it wrong, it's perfectly normal there) so nothing serious, no commitment.
my advice to you is to forget about the whole thing, just treat it as an enjoyable experience and concentrate on dating men where you live, otherwise you would waste all your time, hence your youth for nothing and at the end, you would regret it, become bitter and meanwhile your biological clocks continue to tick and you would feel it.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by minimini (658 days ago)

driffer, perhaps you should get yourself focus on your own things and fill up the time rather than thinking how he spends his day ! You have your life here and really, 2 days with him is nothing !While you are spending thousand minutes of day thinking of him, he may or may not spend even 1 minute thinking of you, or may be, so generous, that he could spend one minute to send you the text "I miss you". You have your life here too. So do not let yourself tie up with these 2 days relationship.

(I am based in Hong Kong)