Loyalty

Posted by wonderfulday (175 days ago)

I always believed relationship is base on trust and loyalty. I also believed you will never cheat on someone you love.

the problem is, I really love my boyfriend but can't help that I fancy someone at work. and we kissed one night after a few drinks in bars. The attraction was mutual and I did not regret a bit. I don't want a relationship from this guy and I still love my boyfriend and no plan to leave him.

Now I have a doubt about myself being loyal in relationships. and actually how do ppl be loyal and in love in only one person for years and years?? am in LDR can I use it as my excuses?

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Find what you are after in our Vietnam A-Z Directory

Posted by T Bone (175 days ago)

... I am not sure I could called the one I like would be my ex-boyfriend.. He is treating on me. And I was hurt. I look like a fool. And I cannot talk to anyone. I want to suicide.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by wonderfulday (175 days ago)

T bone, don't take me wrong. I was cheated and felt like sh*t too. that's y am so confused now

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by T Bone (175 days ago)

Wonderfulday,
I am not confused. He, & one of his friends & his flatmate were very rude to me. I feel hurt & suffer. If a guy really into you, he will give the best to you, he will protect you. He will not abandon you. He will keep his word. I was treated by a guy totally. I don't have dream from now on. Recently, I seldom to go out... I always cry. I become very sensitive. I do not trust people. I become very dangerous. I want to do something to release my pain. I know this is not good. I don't have choice. The one I believe... now far far away to me.. he don't want to pick up my calls. He do not want to reply my emails.

I am not in the mood. I could hurt myself.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Little Carmen (175 days ago)

>T Bone - I would recommend you contact the: http://www.samaritans.org.hk/

The forums here on AX is the wrong place to come with depression in the hope that you will get a mass outpouring of sympathy to make you feel better...I think you need someone professional to hear you out if you think you are going to hurt yourself. Good Luck.

>wonderful day - whats with all the questioning yourself? You kissed the guy and you dont want to leave your bf and you are wracked with self doubt...what more of an answer do you need? Get your feet out of the pool of self pity and just move on. If you want to stay with your boyfriend and think you love him etc, pull up your socks and dont screw up again! Simple, really. *SMH* Why do you want life to be more complicated than that? You messed up, now just dont mess up again. Whats so difficult about that? If you dont think you can avoid being a fool then best dump the bf...cant have your cake and eat it too...well, you can, but it will have dire consequences.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by len_in_shanghai (175 days ago)

Wonderfulday, do you think kissing is not cheating? How would you feel if your boyfriend kissed another girl?

Your relationship is over. I can tell you that much. Trust me here, you tasted evil, you will taste it again...Either be with your boyfriend and keep cheating from time to time (which I guarantee you will) or break up with him.

(I am based in Unspecified)

Posted by T Bone (175 days ago)

I hate him. What should I do?

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by P.M (175 days ago)

you hate who? ? T Bone I find you almost imcomprehensible so perhaps so do these guys online?

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Strawberry_Shortcake (175 days ago)

I always thought a kiss is as small as a kiss but when you apply the reverse situation to yourself you would realise that a kiss is much bigger than you think. len is unfortunately spot on this time..leave him as you already broke the trust and even if you regret it it is already done.

As for TBone, you really need to speak with a professional.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by mangotango (175 days ago)

T-Bone, two questions: 1) why the handle? is it your favorite cut? mine too. 2) maybe you can text/email him what you posted here? he may remain silent but at least he will get the message.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Yep (172 days ago)

What message ? to run as far as he could and change mobile phone number ???

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Pupalicious (172 days ago)

Hahaha! I love Carmen's reply (as I so often do). She is exactly right!

You feel bad, don't do it again! <- that's your answer!

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by yearschen (166 days ago)

Don't make any bullsh** excuses for you to only make you feel better about yourself because by doing so, you were actually no different from the guys you had despised. If you still want a healthy relationship, start all over again.

(I am based in Shanghai)

Posted by T Bone (164 days ago)

I do not believe relationship. I want to see my ex boyfriend. My feeling is important. Let's solve this first!

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by wonderfulday (163 days ago)

the problem is my relationship is not health at all. i had no plan to leave him coz i thought if I be patient and work on it things will be ok. the fact is he was never ready for relationship and when everytime I ask to get out he alway asked me stay. and says it was me being impatient and pushy. Bottom is he never love me. He like me a lot and love to have me as a gal friend. it nothing to do with this new guy just at the end it's too obvious i was going no where with him. I know some ppl will say I am looking for excuses. but hey, I spent 10 months in this relationship, work as the best gf of the year for so long but in the end he still refused to love me (well, he did loved me for a few weeks, than he start to freak out than did stupid thing to push me away coz he simply not ready be in serious relationship again. and he admitted when we broke up)

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Pupalicious (162 days ago)

TEN WHOLE MONTHS!?!?!?! You were in this relationship for ten months?! If it's only ten months, how can you be the best girlfriend of the year if you were only with him for ten months.

Please, a commited relationship should last longer than 10 months! Some people take time to fall in love, you can't expect someone to say he loves you after such a short time.

You sound like really high maintence. Try to think about what you want from a man, try to think what you think comes from a mutually happy relationship. Try to think about what is reasonable behaviour before you get into another relationship with some other poor man.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by T Bone (162 days ago)

Mad. Mad. Mad. 10 months is nothing. Feeling on you just only few weeks. Dump him! Bad taste people do not know what is the true meaning of a piece of ART. You are talking to the wall.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by axptguy38 (119 days ago)

"the problem is, I really love my boyfriend but can't help that I fancy someone at work. and we kissed one night after a few drinks in bars. The attraction was mutual and I did not regret a bit. I don't want a relationship from this guy and I still love my boyfriend and no plan to leave him."

These things happen. As I see it, kissing someone after a few drinks is easy. As in "can happen in an instant". It's not the same thing as sleeping with someone. You don't do that "by mistake". It takes quite a bit of time and effort compared to just a kiss.

Of course this doesn't mean that you should just kiss people you fancy because "it happens". Just that you shouldn't be too hard on yourself, and it shouldn't mean the end of your relationship with your bf.


"how do ppl be loyal and in love in only one person for years and years??"

Hard work.

"am in LDR can I use it as my excuses?"

I guess. But why look for excuses? Excuses are useless. Look instead inside yourself and see what you want to do. If yo want to stay with your bf, then try not to do that sort of thing again. Also try to figure out if you kissed this guy because you want to leave your bf. I'm guessing you just kissed him in the heat of the moment.

People in long term relationships are human too.


"the problem is my relationship is not health at all."

This does not seem related with kissing the guy.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by IbuBapak (117 days ago)

wonderfulday, see the related thread: http://hongkong.asiaxpat.com/forums/marriage-relationships/threads/114547/is-relocating-to-asia-bad-for-marriages?/

The way I see it, being in Hong Kong and having the plethora of opportunities with relation to romance makes it extremely difficult to be "loyal". There is just too much temptation and beautiful people here to be committed, especially if you are in a long-distance relationship. I think there are issues in any relationship, but those issues become cracks and divisions under the glaring temptations of Hong Kong whereas if you were back home, without these temptations, those issues might be easier resolved or glossed over.

(I am based in Hong Kong)