sex with ex....

Posted by Mimi Wong (395 days ago)

your views sought.

many thanks.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by My Hong Kong (395 days ago)

My view is how anyone can expect a constructive answer without giving any information. Well, sometimes sex with the ex is good and sometimes it’s bad. It depends on your personal story which you haven't told us.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by LMOPQ (395 days ago)

Try someone you never had before would be more challenging. Don't try with ex. Past is past.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by May_AM (395 days ago)

Well said, LMOPQ... "Past is past." We all have to leave the past behind and go forward...

(I am based in Singapore)

Posted by Aulelei (394 days ago)

depends.. if you are both sexing just cos you need it, do it no strings attached. If you are sexing, in the hopes of rekindling the fires, and the other person doesnt feel the same, then it will become a problem and no doubt a regret.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by jwm (394 days ago)

What does it matter, if the sex is good and you or he are not seeing anyone else, than do it. That's just bull the past is past. If you want to and enjoy it, than do it.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by zonked (394 days ago)

If you desire him enough to contemplate sex with him, why is he your ex???

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by jwm (394 days ago)

Many people have great sexual relationships that are missing many other aspects of a solid relationship.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by zionmainframe (394 days ago)

Nothing wrong having sex with ex, but are you currectly attached? Thats the Q.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Pupalicious (394 days ago)

I wouldn't personally sleep with any of my ex's because there are reasons why we broke up and I wouldn't particually want to go back there.

But if two single people want to take care of each other's 'itch' with no strings attached, where's the harm.

I wouldn't do it if either of you want to restart the relationship again, though. Unless the reasons you broke up no long apply.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by zonked (394 days ago)

jwm -- I think great sex, and by that I mean AMAZING sex, is not just about two bodies coming to together.
It is a result of some deep feelings, love, desire, respect, admiration, togetherness, sharing interests.... the list can go on.

Though most guys on this forum, and otherwise, would want to conveniently disagree with this, but we all know great sex doesn't just take place between the legs!!

Amen.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Pupalicious (394 days ago)

I'm not a guy, and I disagree. I've had fantastic sex with someone I didn't even like that much! The things he could do!

Obviously, sex with someone you love is more meaningful and it can touch you deeper than any apendage can, but that doesn't make it GREAT or AMAZING!

For example, I love my boyfriend more than anything, and sometimes we do have AMAZING sex, but normally it's just ok sex as we seem to have fallen into a routine and are too busy and too skint to be able to get out of the routine. The AMAZING sex is when the routine is broken, like on a public holiday or when we take anual leave or something.

So, I'm a girl, I conveniently disagree!

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by tia (394 days ago)

If it is JUST sex, sure fine, do it. This is usually nto possible shortly after the relationship ends, as the emotions are still there.

If it to hopefully rekindle the flame, don't bother.

I've done both. The first was fine (he had an itch as did I and that was that) and I have had sex hoping for something more. The latter,in my opinion, rarely happens.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by zonked (394 days ago)

All right..., maybe then I'm different, Pupalicious...
because for me amazing sex definitely is a result of something more, rather much more, I share with a guy. Otherwise it is just normal sex, not amazing. And if I do not like someone "that much" then there is no sex... Call me traditional!

And I'm sure there are many women out there who feel like you and are cheating on their husbands for "amazing" sex outside love and marriage. To clarify, I'm not saying you are, lest this gets into a heated name calling debate and we see ourselves banned from here! ;-)

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Pupalicious (394 days ago)

You're right zonked, I've been reading these threads and it does seem a lot of people sleep outside their marriages. When I get married, I hope I don't.

I'm sure we wouldnt get into name calling. I read in the other thread that you were married before, and I've not been married yet, so I'm guessing we're from a different generation. Different strokes for different folks and all that. I'm not saying my opinion on sex is the right one, I spose at my age it can be considered just fun even if you don't like the guy. And I really didn't like the guy I mentioned above, but I'd just been dumped and I was upset, and things happen. It was AMAZING.

The point is, OP should really give us some more details so that we can properly give our adivce.

If he/she is sleeping with the ex to get back togther then it's probably not the best idea. But otherwise, sex is fun, why not please yourself?

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by zonked (394 days ago)

Thank you, Papulicious. Yes, I agree there're diffenrent perspectives about things at different stages in life.

I think for me though, even when I was younger, sex had more meaning than just the act.

Who is OP??

Helenak, sometimes three words are enough to define your life... for a lifetime.

Wow, that was deep! ;-)

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Pupalicious (394 days ago)

OP means original post.. in this case Mimi Wong

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by rocket99 (394 days ago)

Now that we've had a gal (Pupalicious) disagreeing with the perspective that fantastic sex needn't be linked with any deeper feeling; I'm tempted to jump in and offer a male counterpoint (even at the risk of sounding wimpily romantic!)

Speaking from my own experience, I'd agree completely with zonked. Sex, especially regular sex with the same person, goes from the good to the amazing stage when the desire itself is based on a much deeper attraction. I actually didn't believe this myself till fairly recently. Had had my fair share of experiences with women; serious as well as non-serious -- and I was pretty happy with those experiences.

Then I met this woman whom I found attractive at just an unbelievable number of levels. Right from the beginning, it was a case of being really happy in each other's company, no matter what we were doing. And the sex with her was simply mindboggling. Without wishing to be overly graphic, we could just never have enough of each other.

That relationship put my past experiences into perspective. And taught me something about myself.

Yes, different people are different in the ways they view sex and love. So I guess the important thing is to figure out who you are; and to act accordingly.

That's it -- off my soapbox now!

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by zonked (394 days ago)

I'm stumped, rocket99...

...and, much more. So, I'm off too now!

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by glowingesperasza (394 days ago)

He or she is an ex for a reason! Why even go there!

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by marieantoinette (394 days ago)

Before I was married, and at uni I slept with all 3 of my exes about once a year. We all had great connections but realised that uni was a time to explore and not be tied to a long distance relationship with endless letters (pre-email I might add) and get togethers. It felt great, comforting having a reminder of home and lots more fun than with a stranger. Obviously if you're attached it's a different matter.........

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by samanthajones (392 days ago)

as long as you are single. you can do whatever you want.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Aijin (part again) (392 days ago)

agree with the above... and do enjoy and try not to worry about most anything.

(I am based in Unspecified)