what do i do

Posted by labaran3 (463 days ago)

i trust my girlfriend more than anyone but 2 days ago i found out my girl have been cheating on me for the past 4 month, and we have been together for 3yrs now, so just because of that i choose to give her a second chance but i still keep picturing her having sex with the other guy. please i really dont know what to do...

(I am based in Beijing)

Posted by applespring (463 days ago)

Oh geez...how can you stand such betrayal? If I were you , I would break up with her when she disappointed me the second time.

(I am based in Shanghai)

Posted by @@@@@ (463 days ago)

Oh..... hard one...
She was cheating on u a year ago? And for 4 months?
Well, dear its hard i can imagine, and when trust is broken it's very hard to keep the relationship...
really dont know what to say.... how much do u love her and trust her now, thats the question... if u think and believe that u can trust her and things are going to be the same, then... i wish i had answer for u coz i was in the same situation and i walked away but to tell u the truth it was hard and kind of had regrets that didn't give it i try...
Ahhhh... wonder how would u react if u found out about it at that time, what would u do then?

Anyway, good luck and hope whatever u decide will make u feel better .....

(I am based in Shanghai)

Posted by Sasquatch (462 days ago)

People cheat when their relationship is not good. If it were all good and nothing was missing she wouldnt have felt the need to stray.

You may have thought it was all hunky dory but obviously she didnt and instead of telling you she looked for what was missing somewhere else.

SOOOooo. If you dont want to make real relationship changes, ie more time and attention for her or more romance etc. Then cut that green hat tossing bitch out of your life like a cancer.

If you give her another chance, guilt might keep her home for a while but if you two go back to having the same relationship you had before the inproprieties then she will still be feeling that something is missing.

Dont take that as me saying its your fault, I dont mean that at all (it might be that nobody anywhere would make her happy), but just that people in a happy relationship that makes them feel like they have everything they need DONT look to other outside people for sexual gratification.

My thoughts? Dump her before you get stuck in any deeper with her. At least you didnt marry her or have kids. Then it would really be hard.

(I am based in Guangzhou)

Posted by @@@@@ (462 days ago)

lol sorry i miss read it.. 2 days ago..

(I am based in Shanghai)

Posted by Justin Credible (Part Deux) (462 days ago)

What do you reckon would have happened if you didnt discover she had been cheating on you for the past 4 months? Dont you reckon she'd have continued doing so?

I'll be honest with you, dude, you wont get over it. And furthermore, you dont need to, this isnt a wife or the mother of your child, you deserve better, have a bit more respect for yourself and get the flock out! Life is lived once and its too precious to waste with someone who doesnt respect you as you respect them.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Woz's Pup (462 days ago)

I don't understand these chaps coming in and saying, I've been with her 2 yrs, 3 yrs, 7yrs... The length of time seems to be the only reason why these guys want to stay with their girl friends. They cheated on you! They went to bed with another guy! Clearly being with you for 2, 3, or even 10 years doesn't seem to make a difference to them! If my boyfriend cheated on me after 4 years, then I think I'd take that as a hint that he needed to sew his oats as it were, and it would be the end of the relationship! If you have any respect for yourselves, you'd do the same!

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by whatever whatever (462 days ago)

get rid of her - its the only way. Its hard, but not as hard as living with the pain. Plus, you will never trust her again , so why put yourself through it ? call her bluff, and kick her out. She deserves it

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by TwinkleTwinkleLittleThing (461 days ago)

Speaking from experience, the scar will always be there. You could probably forgive, but I doubt you could forget - even if you broke up with her and dated someone else.

I'm not sure how many people would cheat once and then stop completely for the rest of their lives.

Good luck.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Ivor Biggun (461 days ago)

This is an easy one. Dump the cow....NOW!! Plenty more fish in the ocean buddy....and more honest too. Cheers.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by freshjive (461 days ago)

I agree.

I tried to forgive when that happened to me but I could not. It was too painful to know that the one you love betrayed you. What's more it was a conscious action! You deserve better.

(I am based in Bali)

Posted by toyotamo (461 days ago)

Ivor Biggun: Do you mean they're more plenty mermaids in the ocean :)Probably she has a mad cow disease.

(I am based in Singapore)

Posted by wildorchid (458 days ago)

If you give her the second chance, you will be cheated for the second time. Is that what you want?

(I am based in Guangzhou)

Posted by alk (458 days ago)

Say goodbye to your sweetheart... or is she... still?

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by LMOPQ (458 days ago)

Give her one more chance.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by rice_pay (458 days ago)

labaran..

I feel for you.. I'm also currently in a crisis of my own.

I asked myself 3 questions:-
1) Do I still love her?
2) Does she still love me?
3) What're the most important things in the relationship?

Answering #1 was the easiest (but not easy).
#2 was tougher esp. but you'll know the answer if both were committed to the relationship from the start.

The last one is not so easy.. for me.

Stay on, or move on. Well, you have to decide.
Look, probably this is not yr first break-up.. maybe this one hurts real bad.. but time heals..

All the best.

(I am based in Singapore)

Posted by hoyo (458 days ago)

labaran, dump her before she dumps you!
women having sex behind your back shows some fondamental problem in the relationship.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by TwinkleTwinkleLittleThing (457 days ago)

Again, speaking from experience - she may still love you a lot, but she may love herself more.

That could probably explain why she chose to hurt you in order to get herself pleasure.

(I am based in Hong Kong)